Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be concise and organized: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Avoid hesitations and contradictory phrases. Clarify the key facts (who bought it, how old you were, whether you could ride it immediately) and use linking words to connect ideas (for example, "when", "because", "so"). Keep it to no more than 3–4 short sentences.

예시: Yes. I had my first bike when I was about seven. My grandfather bought it for me, but at first I couldn’t ride it because I was afraid of falling. After a few weeks of practice with his help, I learned to ride it confidently.

제안: Produce a clear general statement followed by a specific exception and a reason. Remove filler words and repeatings. Use linking words like "however", "because", or "in contrast" to make the contrast clear. Be specific about where bikes are popular and why they are less common in your hometown.

예시: Yes, bikes are generally popular across the country because they are affordable and convenient for short trips. However, in my hometown bikes are less common because it is mountainous and steep, so people prefer motorbikes or cars instead.

× Yes, I used to ride the bike when I was around 7 and 8 years old and yeah, that was one.

✓ Yes, I used to ride a bike when I was around seven or eight years old, and that was my first one.

The phrase 'used to ride the bike' is awkward; when speaking generally about having a bicycle as a child, use 'a bike'. Also '7 and 8 years old' should be 'seven or eight years old' for clarity and style. No progressive -ing correction needed here, but the original phrasing included unnecessary articles and number format; improve by using 'used to' plus base verb 'ride' and correct article usage.

× My grandpa bought me my first pack and actually I didn't. Umm, I didn't. I couldn't.

✓ My grandpa bought me my first bike, but at first I couldn't ride it.

Original contains unclear noun 'pack' and fragmented sentences 'I didn't. Umm, I didn't. I couldn't.' which create sentence structure errors. Replace 'pack' with 'bike' to match context, combine ideas into one clear sentence using contrastive conjunction 'but', and supply the missing verb 'ride' to complete the meaning.

× Yes, mostly, uh, most pet of our country, in most part of our country, people used to a lot of people have bike, but not in my hometown because it, it is a it is in the mountains.

✓ Yes, in most parts of our country, many people have bikes, but not in my hometown because it is in the mountains.

This sentence mixes past habit 'used to' with present reality and has incorrect noun phrases ('most pet', 'have bike'). Use present simple 'have' to describe general truth. Correct plural forms ('parts', 'bikes') and word order ('many people have bikes'). Remove stuttering and filler words and fix 'it is in the mountains' for clarity.

× So it was.

✓ So they are less common there.

'Alone 'So it was' is unclear and incomplete. Clarify the meaning: the speaker intends to say bikes were/are less common in their hometown. Use a complete clause matching present context: 'they are less common there.'