Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and accurate: start with a clear topic sentence, correct grammar and vocabulary, and add one supporting detail with a linking word. Avoid filler sounds (uh) and incorrect words (e.g., “buy pocket”).

예시: No, I didn’t have my own bike because my family was middle class. However, my older brother owned one, so I often used his bike to play with him when I was a child.

제안: Give a clear opinion, use linking words and provide a specific reason or example. Correct repetition and awkward phrasing. Keep answer to 2–3 sentences maximum.

예시: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country. For example, many children receive a bicycle as a birthday or school-passing gift from their parents, because bikes are affordable and encourage outdoor play.

× Uh, no, actually I belong to a middle class family so I didn't have any buy pocket, but uh, my brother had bike when he was young and I'm just 1 1/2 year old than him.

✓ Uh, no. Actually, I belonged to a middle-class family so I didn't have a bicycle of my own, but my brother had a bike when he was young and I am just one and a half years older than him.

This sentence has multiple issues best classified as sentence structure errors (ID 26) and subject-verb agreement/tense consistency (ID 27 and 6). Problems: 'belong to a middle class family' should use past tense 'belonged' to match 'when you were a child'; 'buy pocket' is incorrect word choice and likely meant 'bicycle of my own'; 'had bike' needs an article 'a bike'; 'I'm just 1 1/2 year old than him' is ungrammatical—correct is 'I am one and a half years older than him' or 'older than he is'. Suggestions: keep tenses consistent (past when describing childhood), use correct nouns ('bicycle' or 'bike') and possessive expressions ('of my own'), include articles before singular countable nouns, and use correct comparative structure with 'older than' and plural 'years'.

× So I just used his bike and I played with that.

✓ So I just used his bike and played with it.

This is a sentence structure error (ID 26) and also a pronoun use issue (ID 12). 'I played with that' is awkward; use the pronoun 'it' to refer back to 'bike'. Also 'I just used his bike and played with it' is more natural and concise; removing the repeated subject 'I' in the second clause avoids redundancy.

× Yes, I think bikes are the first thing in our childhood which which are given to us on our birthdays, on our other occasions like we passed or or in our class and these are gifted by our parents or others to us.

✓ Yes, I think bikes are often the first thing we receive in childhood, given to us on birthdays or other occasions such as when we pass a class, and they are usually gifted by our parents or relatives.

This contains several problems: tense and phrasing (ID 6), incorrect repetition and word order (ID 26), and article/pronoun issues (ID 22/12). 'Which which are given to us' is redundant and ungrammatical; rephrase as 'often the first thing we receive in childhood'. 'On our other occasions like we passed or or in our class' is unclear; likely means 'other occasions such as when we pass a class'. Use 'parents or relatives' instead of 'parents or others' for clarity. Maintain present simple tense to express general truth and use natural collocations ('receive', 'gifted').

× So these are the first gift for us.

✓ So these are the first gifts we receive.

This is an article and noun-number error (ID 22 and 1). 'The first gift for us' is awkward; if referring to multiple items, use plural 'gifts'. Better: 'these are the first gifts we receive' or 'this is the first gift I received' depending on singular/plural intended. Also 'for us' is less natural than 'we receive' in this context.