Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more natural and concise. Start with a direct topic sentence, avoid filler words (uh), correct minor grammar, and add one specific detail to enrich the response. Use a linking word when giving the additional detail.

예시: No, I didn’t have a bike when I was a child because my family couldn’t afford one. However, I usually went to school by the free school bus, which saved time and was convenient for me.

제안: Make the answer more natural and precise. Begin with a clear topic sentence, use linking words (for example, therefore), avoid repetition and incorrect phrases like "say fuel." Provide a specific example or statistic if possible and correct minor grammar (e.g., "save fuel" and remove redundant words).

예시: Yes, bikes are very popular in India because they are affordable and convenient in crowded cities. For example, many students and office workers use motorcycles to avoid traffic and save fuel, especially on short commutes.

× Due to under financial conditions, it was not possible for my parents to afford a bike for me.

✓ Due to poor financial conditions, my parents could not afford a bike for me.

Issues: incorrect phrase 'Due to under financial conditions' and awkward passive 'it was not possible for my parents to afford'. Use 'poor financial conditions' (correct collocation) and simplify to active form 'my parents could not afford' for clarity and naturalness. Suggestion: learn common collocations (poor financial situation/conditions) and prefer active verbs ('could not afford').

× Uh, I mostly, uh, went school, uh, by bus.

✓ I mostly went to school by bus.

Problems: missing preposition 'to' after 'went' when referring to a destination and extraneous fillers 'uh'. Correct structure is 'go/ went to school'. Suggestion: include the preposition 'to' and avoid fillers for clarity.

× Uh, that was uh, free of course provided by the school.

✓ That was free, of course; it was provided by the school.

Problems: missing subject for 'provided' and punctuation/word order issues. Adding 'it was' clarifies the subject and separating the ideas with a comma or semicolon improves readability. Suggestion: ensure each clause has a clear subject and use punctuation to separate parenthetical phrases.

× Yes, bikes are very popular in India because they are affordable and easy to commute in crowded places.

✓ Yes, bikes are very popular in India because they are affordable and make it easy to travel in crowded places.

Problems: 'easy to commute' is incorrect collocation; 'commute' is usually intransitive and needs an object or 'easy to commute by' is awkward. Replace with 'make it easy to travel' which is natural. Also clarified subject-action relation. Suggestion: study verb collocations like 'travel in/through' and patterns with 'make it easy to...'.

× For example, in India, all the students and the workers, they use the bikes to avoid traffic and say fuel and it is not very expensive.

✓ For example, in India many students and workers use bikes to avoid traffic and save fuel because they are not very expensive.

Multiple issues: redundant pronoun 'they' after subject (pronoun error), incorrect quantifier 'all' (overgeneralization), wrong verb 'say' instead of 'save', and awkward clause 'it is not very expensive' (referent unclear). Corrected to 'many students and workers use bikes to avoid traffic and save fuel because they are not very expensive.' Suggestion: avoid unnecessary repetition of subjects, choose correct verbs ('save'), and use appropriate quantifiers ('many' instead of 'all') to avoid overgeneralization.