Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be clearer and more natural: start with a direct topic sentence (Yes, I did), then give a concise reason with specific details and correct grammar. Avoid fillers (“uh”, “like”, “I mean”) and fix tense/word choice (e.g., “nearly had an accident with a car” and “after that I stopped riding”). Keep it to 2–3 sentences and use linking words such as “after” or “because.”

예시: Yes, I did. I stopped riding when I was about ten because I nearly had an accident with a car, and after that I felt too frightened to ride again.

제안: Give a structured response: state your opinion clearly, then support it with specific reasons and one brief example. Remove repetitions and fillers, use linking words (e.g., “because,” “for example,” “therefore”), and correct phrase choices (“in the summer,” “because traffic congestion” and “avoid traffic”). Limit to 2–3 well-formed sentences.

예시: Yes, bikes are popular, especially in the summer, because many people want to avoid traffic congestion. For example, commuters often ride bicycles to work on sunny days to save time and avoid long delays.

× Yes, I used to have, but I almost got into the car uh accident like I mean the heat by car and so since then I didn't ride actually.

✓ Yes, I used to have one, but I almost had a car accident, and since then I haven't ridden it.

The original mixes past expressions incorrectly. 'Almost got into the car accident' is unidiomatic; use 'almost had a car accident.' 'Since then I didn't ride actually' is incorrect because 'since then' requires present perfect for an action that started in the past and continues to the present: 'I haven't ridden it.' Also add 'one' to clarify 'a bike.' Improve fluency by removing filler words. (Grammar problem type ID: 5)

× Actually, yes, and especially in the summer times, cause cause Mongolia has, where Mongolia is very popular for, uh, it's traffic conditions And so people, just, people just, uh, get rid of traffics to right. Uh, I mean, just ride bikes to get rid of traffic.

✓ Actually, yes, especially in the summer, because bicycling is popular in Mongolia due to heavy traffic. So people just ride bikes to avoid traffic.

Multiple errors: 'summer times' should be singular 'the summer' (singular/plural and article issue). 'Cause cause' and 'uh' are filler words to remove. 'Mongolia has, where Mongolia is very popular for, uh, it's traffic conditions' is ungrammatical; rephrase to 'bicycling is popular in Mongolia due to heavy traffic.' 'Get rid of traffics to right' contains plural and word-choice errors: 'traffic' is uncountable (no plural 'traffics') and 'get rid of' is awkward here; use 'avoid traffic.' The correction fixes noun number, article use, preposition use, and overall sentence structure to match the context. (Grammar problem type ID:1,22,11,26)