Study— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Make your response more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details. Avoid repetition and inaccurate phrases (e.g., "Asian Medical University" placement and "self-care" career unclear).

예시: I'm a student studying basic medical sciences at Asian Medical University. I chose this major because I'm fascinated by how the human body functions, and I plan to pursue a career in preventive medicine or clinical research after graduation.

제안: Open with a clear topic sentence naming the place, then give specific reasons using linking words. Correct tense and pronoun errors and avoid unnecessary phrases like "after coffee to revive."

예시: I usually study in my university library because it's quiet and well-stocked with textbooks and journals. For example, I often spend two to three hours there in the afternoon, which helps me concentrate and finish assignments efficiently.

제안: This answer is unclear and contains many mistakes and irrelevant words (e.g., "burger", "accent resources"). Start with a direct statement, then give two clear, specific reasons linked coherently. Use correct vocabulary and grammar.

예시: Yes, it's a very good place to study because it has a quiet, conducive atmosphere and many academic resources such as journals and study events. Also, seeing other students working hard motivates me to stay focused.

제안: Be specific and clear about the changes you want. Use linking words (for example, "for example", "also") and correct vocabulary (e.g., "medical seminars", "study spaces"). Avoid pronoun confusion and vague phrases.

예시: Yes. For example, I would like the college to organise more academic events related to my major, such as medical seminars and career fairs, because they would help me learn about recent developments and job opportunities. I would also like more available study spaces, especially during finals week.

제안: Give a clear, logical plan with correct grammar and specific goals. Use linking words like "after that" and replace vague phrases (e.g., "including college").

예시: First, I plan to complete my bachelor's degree within the next two years. After that, I hope to pursue a master's degree in medical science to specialise in clinical pharmacology or public health.

× I'm a student, I'm majoring in basic medical science and Asian Medical University.

✓ I'm a student; I major in Basic Medical Science at Asian Medical University.

The original sentence misuses 'majoring in' with an institution and has faulty coordination. Use 'major in' for your subject and 'at' to indicate the university. Also capitalize the proper name. Use a semicolon or separate sentences to avoid a run-on.

× I choose the subject because I'm interested in how the human body works and I hope to pursue a career in self-care.

✓ I chose this subject because I'm interested in how the human body works, and I hope to pursue a career in healthcare.

Tense and word choice are inconsistent: when explaining reasons for choosing a major, past simple 'chose' is appropriate. 'Self-care' is not the correct term for a professional field; 'healthcare' is the intended meaning. Add a comma before the conjunction for clarity.

× I study my school library because it's quiet and will start with textbooks and journals.

✓ I study in my school library because it's quiet and I start by reading textbooks and journals.

Use 'in' with 'library'. The original lacks a clear subject for 'will start' and has awkward phrasing. Use 'I start by reading' to express how study sessions begin.

× I usually go there for two to three hours after coffee to revive and finish assignment, which helps you concentrate and be more productive.

✓ I usually stay there for two to three hours after having coffee to refresh myself and finish assignments, which helps me concentrate and be more productive.

Use 'stay' rather than 'go there' for duration. 'After coffee' is vague; 'after having coffee' is clearer. 'Finish assignment' needs plural 'assignments' or an article; 'finish assignments' fits. Pronoun consistency: speaker should use 'me' rather than 'you'. 'Revive' is unnatural here; 'refresh myself' is better.

× Yes, I think it is a good burger place to buy it over the quiet conducive atmosphere and plenty of accent resources such as journals and study events and seeing other students immersed in their work really motivated to concentrate their body heart.

✓ Yes, I think it is a good place to study because of the quiet, conducive atmosphere and plenty of academic resources such as journals and study events; seeing other students immersed in their work really motivates me to concentrate.

The original contains many incorrect words: 'burger place' and 'buy it' are irrelevant. Use 'place to study'. 'Conducive' should modify 'atmosphere' with a comma. 'Accent resources' should be 'academic resources'. 'Motivated to concentrate their body heart' is nonsensical; change to 'motivates me to concentrate'. Ensure subject-verb agreement: 'seeing... motivates' (singular gerund subject requires singular verb).

× Yes, I'd like the college to hold more academic events related to my major, such as medical stimulus and all career fairs before she would help me learn about recent development and job opportunities.

✓ Yes, I'd like the college to hold more academic events related to my major, such as medical seminars and career fairs, because they would help me learn about recent developments and job opportunities.

Replace 'such as medical stimulus' with 'medical seminars'. 'All career fairs before she would help me' is garbled; use 'because they would help me'. Ensure plural agreement ('developments') and correct pronoun reference ('they' for events).

× I'd also like more available study purposes, especially during final weeks.

✓ I'd also like more available study spaces, especially during final weeks.

'Study purposes' is incorrect; the intended meaning is 'study spaces' (places). 'More available' modifies 'spaces' correctly. Keep 'final weeks' or use 'the final weeks' depending on context.

× At first, I'd like to finish my bachelors degree in the next two years.

✓ First, I'd like to finish my bachelor's degree in the next two years.

Use 'First' rather than 'At first' for sequencing future plans. Add the possessive apostrophe in 'bachelor's degree'. The tense 'I'd like to finish... in the next two years' is acceptable for future intention.

× After that, it is possible I hope to enter another university to study for a master's degree in medical science because I want to specialize including college.

✓ After that, I hope to enter another university to study for a master's degree in Medical Science because I want to specialize further.

Remove 'it is possible' and keep the clear intention 'I hope'. Capitalize 'Master's' or 'Master's degree' conventionally; here 'master's degree in Medical Science' is acceptable. 'Specialize including college' is incorrect; use 'specialize further' or specify a field. Ensure subject-verb clarity and natural word order.