Study— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Speak more clearly and correct basic grammar (use present simple or present continuous consistently), shorten and organize into 2–3 sentences: a clear topic sentence stating your job, then one supporting detail (specialty and responsibilities). Use linking words like “and” or “also.” Pronounce key words (e.g., “bachelor,” “college,” “pediatric,” “supervising”).

예시: I am currently working as a nursing lecturer at Forum Resume College of Nursing, where I have taught for two years and four months. I specialize in pediatric nursing and my main responsibilities are teaching classroom lessons and supervising students during clinical practice.

제안: Give a clear, chronological answer with correct verb tenses and proper nouns. Start with where you studied for your degrees, then mention current studies. Use linking words like “for my bachelor” and “now” to show sequence. Avoid unclear names or extra filler.

예시: I completed my bachelor’s degree at Chiang Mai University, and I also studied for my master’s degree there. Currently, I am pursuing further training to become an APSD nurse.

제안: Answer directly with a topic sentence (Yes/No and reason). Use accurate vocabulary (e.g., “good place,” “modern technology,” “professional teachers”) and provide one or two specific positives. Avoid hesitations like “uh.”

예시: Yes, it is a very good place to study because it has modern technology and experienced, professional teachers. The staff are generous and supportive, and they help me learn how to teach students effectively.

제안: Be specific about the changes you want. Start with a clear topic sentence (Yes, I would like... because...). Give one or two concrete suggestions (e.g., better facilities, more clinical placements, updated equipment) and explain the expected result. Keep it to 2–3 sentences and avoid vague words.

예시: Yes, I would like the college to improve its simulation labs and update clinical equipment so students can practice real procedures more often. This would give students more hands-on experience and better prepare them to serve patients across Thailand.

제안: Give a clear, concise plan: where, what, why, and how it will help your country. Use future tense correctly and avoid fillers. Mention one or two concrete benefits you expect to gain and one concrete way you will apply them on return.

예시: I plan to study APSD nursing in Scotland to gain advanced clinical skills and confidence from an international program. After returning to Thailand, I will use this knowledge to train nursing students and improve pediatric care standards in my hospital.

× I'm currently working I working as a nursing bachelor at Forum Resume College Nursing where I have been teaching for two years and four months.

✓ I'm currently working as a nursing lecturer at Forum Resume College of Nursing, where I have been teaching for two years and four months.

The original sentence has repetition ('working I working') and incorrect noun use ('nursing bachelor'). Use present continuous 'I'm currently working' then 'as a nursing lecturer' is clearer. Also use 'College of Nursing' for correct noun phrase. Keep present perfect continuous 'have been teaching' to indicate duration. Suggestion: remove duplicated words, choose the correct job title, and use 'at' plus correct institution name.

× My main responsibility are teaching student in the classroom and also supervising them.

✓ My main responsibilities are teaching students in the classroom and supervising them.

Subject 'responsibilities' (plural) matches verb 'are'. Also pluralize 'student' to 'students'. Remove 'also' if redundant. Suggestion: ensure plural forms match and keep parallel structure 'teaching... and supervising...'.

× I used to study at Bromwich Nicholas Anderson Putrid when Bushiro degree and in the master degree.

✓ I studied at Bromwich Nicholas Anderson University for my bachelor's degree and for my master's degree.

Use simple past 'I studied' to describe completed past education. 'Used to' implies a past habitual action and is unnecessary. Also correct noun phrases: 'bachelor's degree' and 'master's degree'. Suggestion: use clear degree names and appropriate past tense.

× I study in Chiang Mai University and now I pursue to be a nursing student to study APSD nurse.

✓ I studied at Chiang Mai University and now I am pursuing further nursing training to become an APSD nurse.

If university study is completed, use past tense 'studied'. 'Pursue to be' is incorrect; use 'am pursuing' plus 'to become'. 'APSD nurse' kept but clarified as 'APSD nurse'. Suggestion: match tense to timeline and use 'pursue' with gerund or 'am pursuing' + infinitive 'to become'.

× Yours is a good player to study because uh, it's hard for new technology and have a professional teacher to advise me and people in here, they are generous and kind to teach me how to teach students.

✓ It is a good place to study because it has advanced technology and professional teachers to advise me. The people here are generous and kind in teaching me how to teach students.

Replace 'Yours' with 'It' for the place. 'player' should be 'place'. 'it's hard for new technology' unclear; corrected to 'it has advanced technology'. Match subject-verb agreement: 'it has' and 'professional teachers' (plural). Remove redundant pronouns and restructure sentences for clarity. Suggestion: use correct demonstrative pronouns and clearer phrases for technology and people here.

× Yes, I like places to study to make anything changes, because the displays is helping to uh have a chance an opportunity to teach the student and they become a professional node and help people throughout Thailand, because in Thailand they have a lot of uh.

✓ Yes, I would like the place where I study to make some changes, because the facilities should help provide opportunities to teach students so they can become professional nurses and help people throughout Thailand.

The original sentence has many structural problems and unclear words ('displays', 'professional node'). Recast to express desire for improvements: 'would like... to make some changes'. Use 'facilities' instead of 'displays', 'provide opportunities' and 'professional nurses'. Remove trailing incomplete phrase. Suggestion: simplify and clarify each idea, use concrete nouns and complete clauses.

× I would like to study APSD nursing in Scotland because uh, it's helped me to uh, gain confidence and knowledge from the board.

✓ I would like to study APSD nursing in Scotland because it will help me gain confidence and knowledge from an international board.

Use future reference 'will help' rather than past 'it's helped' when speaking about intended future study. Remove filler 'uh'. 'from the board' clarified to 'from an international board' if intended. Suggestion: use future tense for intended outcomes and be specific about the source of knowledge.

× And when I come back to Thailand, I will develop my country by provide my knowledge and experience to the nursing student.

✓ When I return to Thailand, I will help develop my country by providing my knowledge and experience to nursing students.

Use 'return' as a more appropriate verb. 'Will help develop' is clearer than 'will develop my country'. Use gerund 'providing' after 'by'. Pluralize 'student' to 'students'. Suggestion: use correct verb forms after prepositions and ensure pluralization.

× They will become a professional nurse.

✓ They will become professional nurses.

Match plural subject 'they' with plural noun 'nurses'. 'A professional nurse' is singular and does not agree. Suggestion: ensure number agreement between pronouns and nouns.