Study— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: 文法と語順を自然にし、自己紹介を一文のトピック文として明確に述べること。情報は簡潔にし、専攻名は自然な表現（例："Chinese culture"や"Chinese studies"）でまとめる。発音や結合語の流れも改善するとより自然に聞こえます。具体的には、冠詞や前置詞の使い方（"a university student of Chinese culture" や "I study modern Chinese politics and the Chinese language"）に注意してください。

예시: I'm a university student majoring in Chinese Culture. I focus on modern Chinese politics and the Chinese language.

제안: 文を流暢で論理的に繋げるために接続詞の使い方を見直しましょう。二つの文を繋ぐときは"Although"と"but"を同時に使わないこと、代わりに"although... , I still..."や"It's tiring, but..."のように単一の接続を心がけると自然です。また、具体的な詳細（通学時間やキャンパスの特徴）を簡潔に述べると効果的です。

예시: I study at a university in another city, so I commute about two hours each way. It's tiring, but it's worth it because the campus is quiet and helps me concentrate.

제안: 支持理由をより具体的にし、語彙の結合（例えば"well-equipped"のハイフン）や句読点に注意しましょう。"so"で結ぶ理由よりも、"which"や"allowing us to..."のような表現で結果を説明するとより自然で論理的です。

예시: Yes, it's a great place to study. It has well-equipped research labs and experienced professors, which allow students to gain hands-on experience and receive strong academic support.

제안: 名詞の数（可算・不可算）と冠詞の使い方を正しくし、より自然な提案表現を使いましょう。"create more dining areas"の代わりに"provide more dining areas"や"build additional common rooms"などが適切です。また具体例（ピーク時間や座席不足の頻度）を一文で付け加えると説得力が増します。

예시: Yes. I would like the university to provide more dining areas and build additional common rooms, because the dining hall is often crowded during lunch and I sometimes can't find a seat to relax.

제안: 意図を明確にするために語彙と文法（"pass a research career"は不自然）を修正しましょう。目的を述べるときは"so that"や"in order to"を使うと理由と目標が明確になります。さらに、"masters"は正式には"a master's program"と書き、将来の職業計画を一文で整理して述べると良いです。

예시: After graduating, I plan to start a master's program in Chinese Studies. I hope to graduate with distinction so that I can pursue a research career and eventually become a university lecturer.

× I'm a university student Chinese culture.

✓ I'm a university student studying Chinese culture.

The original sentence is missing a verb to link 'student' with the field of study. Use the present participle 'studying' to show what the student is studying. Improvement: include 'studying' or use 'majoring in' (e.g., 'I'm a university student majoring in Chinese culture').

× I study modern Chinese politics and Chinese language.

✓ I study modern Chinese politics and the Chinese language.

The phrase 'Chinese language' needs the definite article 'the' when referring to the language as a field of study. Also consider parallel structure: both objects are noun phrases. Improvement: add 'the' before 'Chinese language' or rephrase as 'Chinese language studies.'

× I study at university in another city so I commute about two hours each way.

✓ I study at a university in another city, so I commute about two hours each way.

When referring to an institution generally, use the indefinite article 'a' before 'university.' Also add a comma before 'so' when joining two independent clauses. Improvement: include 'a' and punctuation for clarity.

× Although it's very tiring but I think it's worth it because the campus is quiet which helps me study hard.

✓ Although it's very tiring, I think it's worth it because the campus is quiet, which helps me study hard.

Do not use both 'although' and 'but' together; they are redundant. Use a comma after the dependent clause with 'although' and before the nonrestrictive clause 'which helps me study hard.' Improvement: remove 'but' and add commas for correct clause separation.

× Yes, it's a great place to study because it has well equipped research labs and experienced professors so we can gain hands on experience and receive strong academic support.

✓ Yes, it's a great place to study because it has well-equipped research labs and experienced professors, so we can gain hands-on experience and receive strong academic support.

Compound adjectives like 'well-equipped' and phrasal adjectives 'hands-on' require hyphens. Also add a comma before 'so' linking two independent clauses. Improvement: add hyphens and punctuation for readability.

× Yes, I would like the university to create a more dining areas or other new common room because the dining hall is often crowded and sometimes I can't even find the place to sit or unwind.

✓ Yes, I would like the university to create more dining areas or other new common rooms because the dining hall is often crowded and sometimes I can't even find a place to sit or unwind.

'More' already indicates plurality, so 'a more dining areas' is incorrect; remove 'a.' 'Common room' should be plural to match 'areas' or be phrased 'another common room.' Also 'the place' can be general 'a place.' Improvement: remove the extra article and make plural consistent.

× After graduating, I plan to start a masters program in Chinese studies.

✓ After graduating, I plan to start a master's program in Chinese studies.

The noun 'masters' requires the possessive apostrophe when used in 'master's program.' Improvement: use 'master's' with an apostrophe.

× I hope to graduate with distinction because I'd like to pass a research career and eventually become a university lecturer.

✓ I hope to graduate with distinction because I'd like to pursue a research career and eventually become a university lecturer.

The verb 'pass' is incorrect collocation for 'career.' Use 'pursue' to express following or developing a career. Improvement: replace 'pass' with 'pursue' to use proper verb-noun collocation.