Study— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: 回答时语法和用词不够准确，且表达不够自然。建议简化句子结构，避免拼写错误（如'fines'应为'finance'），并且用更自然的表达方式。

예시: I'm a full-time student studying business management, which includes finance, marketing strategies, and international business. Currently, I am focusing on finance-related models because I want to work in that field after graduation.

제안: 回答结构混乱，语法错误较多，表达不够连贯。建议先直接回答问题，然后用简洁的句子补充细节，注意冠词和单复数的正确使用。

예시: I study at the University of Shanghai for Science and Technology. I feel very lucky because the university is quite international and offers many internship opportunities for business management students like me.

제안: 表达不够清晰，句子结构混乱，缺少连贯的连接词。建议明确表达观点，使用连接词如'because'和'however'，并避免重复和语法错误。

예시: I think the university has both advantages and disadvantages. It is a good place to study because you can meet people with different ideas. However, it can also be distracting since there are many opportunities for fun around the campus.

제안: 表达不够准确，句子结构不完整，且有语法错误。建议用更清晰的句子表达想法，避免不必要的复杂结构。

예시: If possible, I would like my school to rebuild the library because it is very old. Although it is a historic building, the inside is not comfortable for studying or reading.

제안: 回答中有语法错误和表达不自然的地方。建议简化句子，明确表达计划，并使用正确的介词和词汇。

예시: After I graduate from college, I plan to go to Australia to study finance or marketing. I want to continue my studies because it will help me decide my future career.

× I'm starting the business management which covers areas like finance, marketing strategies and international business.

✓ I'm starting business management which covers areas like finance, marketing strategy and international business.

business management 是不可数名词，不需要加冠词 the；marketing strategy 在这里作为不可数名词使用，不用复数形式。

× Right now I'm mainly focused on the fines related models since that's the field I want to go to after the graduation.

✓ Right now I'm mainly focused on the finance-related models since that's the field I want to go to after graduation.

fines 应为 finance，finance-related 作为复合形容词修饰 models；graduation 前不需要加冠词 the。

× Well, I think very lucky for me to study in the Shanghai, especially in my college, the university in Shanghai for science and technology, I study about the business management.

✓ Well, I think I'm very lucky to study in Shanghai, especially at my college, the University of Shanghai for Science and Technology, where I study business management.

表达中缺少主语 I'm；in the Shanghai 应为 in Shanghai（地名前一般不加冠词）；at my college 更合适；study about 应为 study；句子结构需要调整使其更通顺。

× It's very it's international and have more internship for me.

✓ It's very international and has more internship opportunities for me.

have 应为第三人称单数 has；internship 应为 internship opportunities 更合适；句子结构需调整。

× It's a good place to study because you can get in touch with with different peoples have different ideas.

✓ It's a good place to study because you can get in touch with different people who have different ideas.

people 是复数形式，不用加 s；需要加关系代词 who 连接从句。

× But it's also not a good place to study because you can have fun or do whatever you want around the school, so.

✓ But it's also not a good place to study because you can have fun or do whatever you want around the school.

句尾 so 多余，应去掉。

× Well, if it's possible, I want my school to rebuild the library because it's so old.

✓ Well, if possible, I want my school to rebuild the library because it's so old.

if it's possible 中的 it 可以省略，表达更简洁。

× If the history protects building but it's not good enough for ours to start inside, or if we want to read inside, it's not very good for us.

✓ Although it's a historic protected building, it's not good enough for us to study inside, or if we want to read inside, it's not very comfortable for us.

句子结构混乱，historic protected building 表达历史保护建筑；ours to start inside 应为 us to study inside；表达更清晰。

× Well, my future study depends is after my graduation in my college, I want to go to the Australia and focus more on the finance or the marketing.

✓ Well, my future study plans depend on my graduation from college. After that, I want to go to Australia and focus more on finance or marketing.

depends is 结构错误，应为 depends on；the Australia 应为 Australia；句子拆分更清晰。

× I want to have a further starting because I think it will help me more to choose what I want to do in my whole life.

✓ I want to have further studies because I think it will help me more to choose what I want to do in my whole life.

a further starting 表达不正确，应为 further studies；starting 不是名词，不能用作此处。