Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more fluent and concise: avoid fillers (uh, um) and repeat words. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct small grammar errors (e.g., 'scenery makes', 'I especially enjoy').

예시: Yes, I enjoy photographing different views. I grew up in a mountainous area called Mariso, so I often photograph dramatic landscapes; for example, I especially enjoy the sunset over Captain River because the colours and reflections create peaceful, relaxing photos.

제안: Provide a direct topic sentence and one clear reason with a specific example. Remove hesitation and repetitive phrases. Use a linking word when adding a second point (for example, 'because' or 'also'). Correct plurality and article usage ('rural areas are', 'I love living in a rural area').

예시: I prefer rural views because they are more natural and peaceful. For example, living near the mountains in Mariso means I often see breathtaking sunrises and wide-open fields, which I find more relaxing than busy city streets.

제안: Give a clear, balanced opinion with concise supporting reasons and a short example. Avoid contradictory tenses and sloppy phrasing; use linking words like 'however' or 'and' to compare. Correct grammar: 'I prefer both' or 'I like both' and 'each country has its own unique views.'

예시: I like views in both my country and other countries. My country has familiar, beautiful landscapes that I love, however when I travel abroad I enjoy seeing different styles of scenery — for instance, I loved the coastal cliffs I saw in another country because they were very different from the mountains at home.

× Because I grew up in the mountainous uh, area called Mariso, I often have chances to, uh, photograph dramatic landscapes.

✓ I grew up in the mountainous area called Mariso, so I often have chances to photograph dramatic landscapes.

Starting a sentence with 'Because' followed by the main clause as a separate sentence creates a sentence fragment or awkward structure. Combine the dependent clause with the main clause using a comma and coordinating connector (so) to make a complete sentence. Also remove filler words like 'uh' to improve clarity. Suggestion: Use 'Because I grew up..., so I...' or simply 'I grew up... and I often...'. Remove filler words.

× I officially I especially, uh, enjoy Captain River sunset.

✓ I especially enjoy the sunset at Captain River.

The original sentence repeats subjects and includes fillers, and the noun phrase order is incorrect. Subject-verb agreement itself is fine but the structure is wrong (redundant 'I officially I especially'). Reorder to 'I especially enjoy...' and place the location and noun in natural order: 'the sunset at Captain River.' Suggestion: Avoid repetition and fillers; use a clear subject + verb + object order.

× I think natural scenery make the best photo and help me relax.

✓ I think natural scenery makes the best photos and helps me relax.

'Scenery' is an uncountable singular noun, so the verb must be singular ('makes') and the second verb should agree in number ('helps'). Also 'photos' is the correct plural form when referring to multiple pictures. Suggestion: Match verbs to a singular subject and use plural nouns when appropriate.

× So that's why I love to, uh, live in rural area and especially the views of rural areas are very natural, very breathtaking.

✓ So that's why I love living in a rural area, and the views in rural areas are very natural and breathtaking.

The phrase 'live in rural area' is missing the article 'a' before 'rural area'. Also phrasing 'especially the views of rural areas are' is awkward; use 'the views in rural areas are.' Use 'living' for the activity and remove fillers. Suggestion: Use articles with singular countable nouns and prefer 'in a rural area' or 'in rural areas' consistently.

× I prefer the views of rural areas because, umm, I also belong to, umm, mountainous area called, uh, Marie.

✓ I prefer the views of rural areas because I also belong to a mountainous area called Marie.

'Mountainous area' is a singular countable noun and requires the indefinite article 'a'. Remove filler words and unnecessary commas. Suggestion: Include appropriate articles with singular countable nouns and avoid fillers.

× Uh, I think I preferred both, uh, because umm, my country has their own views and the other country has their own, uh, views has different views.

✓ I think I prefer both because my country has its own views and other countries have different views.

The speaker uses 'preferred' (past) where present 'prefer' is appropriate, causing tense inconsistency. Also 'my country has their' uses incorrect pronoun agreement; 'country' is singular and should take 'its.' The clause 'the other country has their own, uh, views has different views' is redundant and ungrammatical. Simplify to 'other countries have different views.' Suggestion: Use consistent present tense for general preferences, use correct possessive 'its' for singular nouns, and avoid redundant phrases.

× Umm, I'm when I am in my country, I prefer my country is views is the best, but I travel.

✓ When I am in my country, I prefer its views the most, but when I travel I enjoy other countries' views as well.

The original is fragmented and contains tense/structure errors: 'Umm, I'm when I am...' is incorrect. 'I prefer my country is views is the best' is ungrammatical and mixes clauses. Rephrase to present tense, use the possessive 'its views,' and contrast with traveling using a clear connector ('but when I travel'). Suggestion: Organize ideas into a clear conditional/result structure: 'When I am in... I prefer... but when I travel...' and use possessive forms for clarity.