Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Make the answer more natural and concise, use correct collocations and vary vocabulary. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details with linking words. Correct phrases like “nature enjoyer” to “nature lover” and avoid redundancy (e.g. “bring my phone” + “capture everything” can be tightened).

예시: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views. For example, whenever I go hiking I take my phone to photograph landscapes and wildlife, which helps me remember the places I visit.

제안: Give a clearer topic sentence and provide a specific reason with better grammar and linking words. Correct unclear phrases like “by them I can't see the real nature of ours.” Explain one concrete example of what you like in rural views. Keep it to two or three sentences.

예시: I prefer rural views because they show unspoiled nature. For instance, I like photographing open fields and forests where there are fewer buildings, so the scenes look more peaceful and natural.

제안: Clarify your idea and avoid hesitations. Use correct vocabulary and grammar: avoid phrases like “no, I mean not money” and “con of other countries.” State a clear preference and give a specific example with reasons. Use linking words to connect ideas. Keep it concise (max 3–4 sentences).

예시: I prefer views in other countries because I want to see landscapes different from those at home. For example, I would love to visit the Nordic countries to photograph dramatic fjords and northern light scenes, which are very different from the flat countryside where I live.

× 'Yes I do because I am a nature enjoyer so every time I go outside I bring my phone with me and I just capture everything on my camera.'

✓ 'Yes, I do because I enjoy nature, so every time I go outside I bring my phone and capture everything with my camera.'

'Incorrect use of nouns and word choice: "nature enjoyer" is unnatural; use the verb phrase "enjoy nature". Also "bring my phone with me" is wordy; "bring my phone" is sufficient. "capture everything on my camera" should be "capture everything with my camera." Suggest using natural collocations and concise wording.'

× 'I prefer rural areas because by them I can't see the real nature of ours, so for me it is better to capture everything when it is not built.'

✓ 'I prefer rural areas because there I can see our real nature, so it is better for me to take photos when places are not built up.'

'Incorrect use of prepositions and awkward phrasing: "by them" is incorrect; use "there" or "in rural areas." "I can't see the real nature of ours" is reversed and unclear; use "I can see our real nature." "capture everything when it is not built" should be "take photos when places are not built up." Recommend using clear prepositions and natural collocations.'

× 'I think in other countries, because in my country there are no, I mean not money, beautiful views.'

✓ 'I think in other countries, because in my country there are not many beautiful views.'

'Present tense and sentence structure issues: The phrase "there are no, I mean not money, beautiful views" is confusing and ungrammatical. Likely intended meaning is a lack of beautiful views: use "there are not many beautiful views" or "there are few beautiful views." Keep tense present and restructure for clarity.'

× 'And I wish I could see views of other con of other countries, for example Nordic countries, they are very beautiful and the nature is just incredible.'

✓ 'I wish I could see views of other countries; for example, the Nordic countries are very beautiful and their nature is incredible.'

'Sentence structure errors and redundancy: "other con of other countries" is a garbled phrase. Remove redundancy and correct to "other countries." Use a semicolon or separate sentences to join related ideas. Replace "the nature is just incredible" with "their nature is incredible" to use correct possessive reference.'