Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and clear: start with a direct topic sentence, then add one specific reason and an example. Avoid filler words (umm). Use precise phrasing (e.g., “I especially enjoy photographing sunsets because…”). Keep to 2–3 sentences and use linking words like “because” to connect ideas.

예시: I enjoy taking photographs of different views, especially sunsets, because the colours and light are very striking. For example, I often capture the orange and pink sky at the beach, which creates dramatic silhouettes of people and buildings.

제안: Give a direct preference sentence and support it with a specific contrasting example. Avoid unfinished sentences and fillers. Use linking words such as “however,” “on the other hand,” or “for example” to make your answer coherent. Limit to 2–3 sentences and finish your thoughts.

예시: I prefer both urban and rural views depending on my mood. For example, I enjoy urban scenes when I’m shopping because the busy streets and neon signs make vibrant photos, but I choose rural areas when I want calm landscapes and natural light.

제안: Respond clearly with a topic sentence stating your preference, then give a specific reason and an example. Avoid negative phrasing like “not a great fan” without clarification, and remove hesitations. Use linking words such as “because” and “for example.” Keep it within 2–3 complete sentences.

예시: I prefer views in other countries because I enjoy exploring different architecture and daily life. For example, when I visit Europe I like photographing narrow streets and historic buildings that look very different from those at home.

× Yes, umm, I do like taking pictures of different views, especially my favorite one is sunset.

✓ Yes, I do like taking pictures of different views; my favorite is the sunset.

The original mixes ideas and uses 'my favorite one is sunset' awkwardly. This is an issue of word choice and sentence structure. Use 'my favorite is the sunset' to name a preference and a semicolon or conjunction to join related clauses. Remove filler words like 'umm' for clarity.

× My favorite one is to sense it.

✓ My favorite is to watch or experience it.

'To sense it' is unnatural here and the structure is unclear. The student likely means 'to watch/experience a sunset.' Correct the verb and simplify the structure to make the meaning clear.

× I umm.

✓ (This fragment should be completed or removed.)

This is a sentence fragment without a verb or object. Either complete the thought (for example, 'I enjoy it.') or remove the fragment to maintain grammatical completeness.

× I prefer use of both to be honest.

✓ I prefer both, to be honest.

'Prefer use of both' is an awkward quantifier/pronoun construction. Use the simple phrase 'I prefer both' to indicate preference for both types. 'To be honest' is a discourse marker and should follow or precede the main clause.

× If I want to explore an urban life, do shopping, I do find umm a place or a scene to take picture like maybe could be a.

✓ If I want to explore urban life or go shopping, I try to find a place or scene to take pictures, such as interesting streets or architecture.

Original sentence has multiple structure problems: missing articles, verb forms, and an unfinished ending. Fix subject-verb forms ('I try to find'), plural 'pictures', include articles ('a place'), and complete the example. Remove filler words for clarity.

× If I want to explore an urban life, do shopping, I do find umm a place or a scene to take picture like maybe could be a.

✓ If I want to explore urban life or go shopping, I find a place or scene to take pictures, such as a busy market or a street corner.

Use simple present tense consistently for habitual actions: 'I find' rather than 'I do find' (unless for emphasis). Use plural 'pictures' and provide a complete example to finish the sentence.

× Honestly, I am used to the views of my country so I'm not a great fan of that and and I would like to explore the architecture and umm the life abroad so.

✓ Honestly, I am used to the views in my country, so I'm not a great fan of them, and I would like to explore architecture and life abroad.

Use 'views in my country' and plural pronoun 'them' to refer back to 'views' (pronoun agreement). Remove duplicate 'and', change 'the life abroad' to 'life abroad' for natural phrasing, and keep consistent present-tense constructions. Removing 'umm' improves clarity.