Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more fluent and concise: combine short fragments into full sentences, avoid filler words (e.g., “uh”), and use plural/singular consistently. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add a specific reason and an example using linking words.

예시: Yes, I enjoy taking photos of different views, especially close-ups of flowers. For example, I love photographing tulips and roses because their colours and textures are so vivid, which makes the pictures more striking.

제안: Improve grammar and coherence: use a complete topic sentence, correct pronouns and possessives, and add a brief supporting detail with a linking word. Replace awkward phrasing (“feels me relaxed”) with natural expressions.

예시: I prefer views in rural areas because the natural scenery is more beautiful than in cities. Moreover, the peaceful atmosphere helps me relax and enjoy the landscape without the noise and crowds.

제안: Be specific and avoid repetition: open with a clear preference, use precise vocabulary (e.g., ‘Mediterranean coast’), and give one or two concrete reasons or examples connected with linking words.

예시: I prefer the views in my own country, particularly the Mediterranean coast. For instance, the coastline has lovely sandy beaches and many historic towns, which together create scenic landscapes I enjoy photographing.

× Yes, I really like taking pictures. Uh, especially flowers.

✓ Yes, I really like taking pictures, especially of flowers.

The original is a sentence fragment because 'Especially flowers.' lacks a verb and connection to the previous clause. Combine into one sentence and use the correct preposition 'of' after 'pictures' to indicate what is being photographed. Suggestion: connect phrases or use a full clause (e.g., 'I especially like taking pictures of flowers').

× And when I see any flowers.

✓ I also enjoy taking pictures when I see flowers.

The original is a sentence fragment beginning with 'And' and containing a dependent clause 'when I see any flowers' with no main clause. Remove the fragment by supplying the main clause and avoid unnecessary 'any'. Use 'I also enjoy' to make it a complete sentence.

× But I especially like tulips and rose.

✓ But I especially like tulips and roses.

The noun 'rose' should be plural to match 'tulips' and the parallel structure. Use 'roses' when listing types of flowers. Maintain consistent plural forms in lists.

× I prefer rural areas because. Its nature is more beautiful than urban areas and its atmosphere feels me relaxed.

✓ I prefer rural areas because their nature is more beautiful than that of urban areas, and their atmosphere makes me feel relaxed.

The original contains a period after 'because' creating a fragment; 'Its' is ambiguous and incorrectly refers to 'rural areas' (plural), so use 'their'. Comparison with 'urban areas' requires 'that of' to compare 'nature' properly. 'Feels me relaxed' is incorrect word order and verb choice; use 'makes me feel relaxed'. Ensure sentences are complete and pronouns agree in number.

× Its nature is more beautiful than urban areas and its atmosphere feels me relaxed.

✓ Their nature is more beautiful than that of urban areas, and their atmosphere makes me feel relaxed.

'Its' is singular but refers to 'rural areas' (plural), so use 'their'. Also 'than urban areas' compares 'nature' to 'urban areas' (mismatched); use 'than that of urban areas'. 'Feels me relaxed' uses incorrect pronoun object order; use 'makes me feel relaxed'.

× I prefer my country's view, especially Mediterranean coasts of seas.

✓ I prefer my country's scenery, especially the Mediterranean coasts.

The phrase 'coasts of seas' is awkward and redundant; use 'the Mediterranean coasts' or 'the Mediterranean coast'. 'View' is better replaced with 'scenery' for natural landscapes. Include the definite article 'the' before 'Mediterranean coasts'.

× They have beautiful beaches and sea beaches and many historic places.

✓ They have beautiful beaches and many historic sites.

'Sea beaches' is redundant because 'beaches' implies sea/coast; remove duplication. 'Historic places' is acceptable but 'historic sites' is more natural. Simplify the list to avoid repetition and improve adjective-noun collocation.