Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition, and add one specific example or reason using a linking word. Limit to up to 5 sentences and vary vocabulary slightly (e.g., ‘scenery’, ‘landscapes’, ‘features’).

예시: Yes — I enjoy photographing different views, especially natural scenery. For example, I often photograph mountains and rivers when I go hiking because I like the changing light and textures. I also try to capture sunsets over the sea to show color contrast.

제안: Clarify and correct content: the student says they prefer urban areas but lists natural features (rural). Choose one (urban or rural), state it directly, then support with reasons and a linking word. Avoid contradictions and redundant listing.

예시: I prefer rural views because they offer unspoiled natural features. For example, I like photographing waterfalls, forests, and mountain panoramas since they provide dramatic compositions and quiet settings.

제안: Be more precise and formal: avoid filler words like "you know" and grammatical errors. State your preference clearly, give specific reasons and an example, and use linking words (e.g., "because", "for instance").

예시: I prefer views in the Philippines because it has diverse coastal and mountain landscapes. For instance, the islands offer clear beaches and dramatic cliffs, which I grew up seeing and now love to photograph.

× I like taking pictures of different views, especially natural landscapes.

✓ I like taking pictures of different views, especially natural landscapes.

No correction needed; the sentence correctly uses the present simple to describe a habitual preference. Keep as is.

× I love capturing pictures of the mountains, the sea, the sun, the rivers, and other natural things.

✓ I love capturing images of mountains, the sea, the sun, rivers, and other natural things.

Use of capturing + noun is acceptable, but 'capturing images' is more natural than 'capturing pictures'. Also remove unnecessary articles before plural nouns (the mountains -> mountains) for general statements. This improves naturalness rather than fixing a strict grammatical error.

× I often take photos when I go hiking.

✓ I often take photos when I go hiking.

Correct present simple for habitual action; no change needed.

× As I have mentioned earlier, I like taking pictures of landscapes, so I prefer urban areas, especially the sea, the mountains, the trees and the rivers.

✓ As I mentioned earlier, I like taking pictures of landscapes, but I prefer rural areas, especially the sea, mountains, trees, and rivers.

Two issues: 'As I have mentioned earlier' is acceptable but 'As I mentioned earlier' is simpler and more natural. More importantly, the student contradicted themselves by saying they like landscapes but prefer urban areas; landscapes, sea, mountains, trees, and rivers are rural features, so 'rural areas' is the correct prepositional/lexical choice. This is a content/word choice correction tied to preposition/phrase usage.

× Also the waterfalls.

✓ Also, waterfalls.

Fragment corrected to a short sentence with punctuation; 'Also the waterfalls.' is a fragment. Use 'Also, waterfalls.' or combine with previous sentence: '...trees, rivers, and waterfalls.' This fixes sentence structure while keeping present-tense preference.

× I live in the Philippines and I prefer the view in the Philippines because, you know, Philippines is one of the places that has a lot of great natural resources.

✓ I live in the Philippines, and I prefer the views in the Philippines because the Philippines is one of the places that has a lot of great natural resources.

Use 'the Philippines' consistently; when referring to the country by name, include the definite article. Also 'the view' is better as 'the views' when speaking generally about scenery. Add 'the' before 'Philippines is' to form 'the Philippines is' for grammatical correctness.

× So I think I was raised by seeing a lot of natures.

✓ So I think I was raised seeing a lot of nature.

Problems: 'natures' is incorrect — 'nature' is an uncountable noun and should not be pluralized. 'Raised by seeing' is awkward; use 'raised seeing' or 'raised surrounded by nature'. Better: 'I was raised surrounded by nature.' This fixes adjective/adverb usage and collocation.