Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Correct the wrong word choice and remove repetitions. Respond directly with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Use natural vocabulary (e.g., “scenes” or “views” not “wheels”) and avoid filler phrases like “you know.” Keep it under five sentences.

예시: Yes, I love taking pictures of different views because photos help me preserve special memories. For example, I often photograph sunsets and cityscapes when I travel, so I can look back on the atmosphere and colors later.

제안: Good clear preference and specific reasons. Improve coherence by using linking words and correcting minor grammar (plural/singular, articles). Reduce fillers like “you know” and keep sentences concise.

예시: I prefer rural areas because they offer a wider variety of natural landscapes. For instance, I enjoy photographing mountains, streams and lakes, whereas cities mainly have skyscrapers and fewer natural scenes.

제안: Fix repeated wrong word choice (“wheels” → “views/landscapes”) and avoid hesitations. Give a concise topic sentence stating preference and then one specific reason for both familiar and foreign views. Use linking words like “however” to contrast and avoid fragmented phrases.

예시: I prefer views in my own country because I can relate to the places and their cultural context. However, I also enjoy landscapes abroad because they offer fresh perspectives and new photographic opportunities.

× Yes, I do love taking pictures of different wheels.

✓ Yes, I do love taking pictures of different views.

The student used 'wheels' which is incorrect in context; the intended noun is 'views'. This is a word choice error and affects meaning. Change 'wheels' to 'views' to match the question about taking pictures of views. Suggestion: listen for the keyword in the question and reuse relevant vocabulary.

× You know, it's not a not only a photo, but a memorable recollection for me.

✓ You know, it's not only a photo but a memorable recollection for me.

The sentence contains a duplicated negative phrase 'not a not only' which is ungrammatical. Removing the extra 'not' fixes the correlative construction 'not only ... but ...'. Suggestion: use 'not only X but Y' without repeating 'not'.

× Definitely rural areas, you know you can only see skyscrapers and tall buildings in the city, especially in the CBD area.

✓ Definitely rural areas. You know, you can only see skyscrapers and tall buildings in the city, especially in the CBD.

Repeating 'area' after 'CBD' is redundant because CBD stands for Central Business District (an area). Also run-on sentence; splitting into two sentences improves clarity. Suggestion: avoid redundancy and use punctuation to separate ideas.

× But in rural area, there is a lot of different kinds of landscape that you can appreciate, including mountains, streams and lakes.

✓ But in rural areas, there are many different kinds of landscapes that you can appreciate, including mountains, streams, and lakes.

'Rural area' should be plural 'rural areas' to match general statement. 'There is a lot of different kinds of landscape' mixes singular/plural and quantifier incorrectly. Use 'there are many different kinds of landscapes' or 'a lot of different landscapes.' Also add serial comma for clarity. Suggestion: match noun number with quantifiers and use plural for general statements.

× Well, for me, I prefer wheels in my own country because I can easily resonate with those wheels, but also in foreign countries, it's a, it's totally different for me.

✓ Well, for me, I prefer views in my own country because I can easily resonate with those views, but in foreign countries it's totally different for me.

Again 'wheels' is incorrect; should be 'views'. Removed filler 'a, it's' and simplified to 'but in foreign countries it's totally different for me.' This fixes word choice and awkward phrasing. Suggestion: avoid filler words and repeat correct vocabulary from the question.

× So it's a brand new experience.

✓ So it's a brand-new experience.

Grammatically fine but hyphenating 'brand-new' is standard when used as a compound adjective before a noun. No tense change needed. Suggestion: use hyphenation for clarity in formal writing.

× I also love to view, you know, the landscapes in other countries.

✓ I also love viewing the landscapes in other countries.

'Love to view, you know, the landscapes' is wordy and awkward. Use the gerund 'viewing' after 'love' for a natural phrasing: 'I also love viewing the landscapes in other countries.' Suggestion: prefer 'love + -ing' or 'love to + verb' consistently and remove filler 'you know' in formal responses.