Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Reduce hesitations and fix grammar to make your answer more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific detail and a brief reason or example. Use linking words to connect ideas and avoid repetition (e.g., don’t repeat “taking pictures”).

예시: Yes, I love taking photos of different views. For example, I often visit nearby parks and mountains to photograph landscapes because the natural light there is great, and I usually share the best shots on social media.

제안: Be more concise and correct some grammar and word choice. Give one clear reason with a specific example instead of vague emotional words. Remove fillers like “umm” and avoid repeating similar adjectives.

예시: I prefer rural views, especially the countryside, because the air is fresher and it's much quieter than the city. For instance, I enjoy photographing a small village at sunrise when the light and silence create a calm atmosphere.

제안: Clarify your meaning and correct errors. State your preference clearly, give one or two specific reasons (with an example), and avoid vague phrases like “this is male” and excessive fillers. Use linking words (e.g., because, for example) to show connection.

예시: I prefer views in other countries because they offer different cultures and histories. For example, visiting rural areas in Europe allowed me to photograph traditional festivals and old buildings, which taught me a lot about local customs.

× I really enjoy taking pictures of sceneries.

✓ I really enjoy taking pictures of scenery.

'Scenery' is an uncountable noun when referring to views in general, so the plural 'sceneries' is incorrect. Use 'scenery' or 'scenic views'. Suggestion: say 'scenery' or 'scenic views' depending on context.

× Also I usually visit umm, beautiful area and natural environment and taking pictures of them.

✓ Also I usually visit beautiful areas and natural environments and take pictures of them.

Plural nouns are needed when speaking generally about 'areas' and 'environments'. Also after 'and' the verbs must be parallel: 'visit' and 'take', not 'visit ... and taking'. Suggestion: use plural nouns for general statements and keep verb forms parallel.

× After that I usually share that photos.

✓ After that I usually share those photos.

The demonstrative pronoun must agree in number: 'photos' is plural so use 'those' not 'that'. Suggestion: use 'that' for singular and 'those' for plural.

× Well, I feel really torn between urban area and rural area.

✓ Well, I feel really torn between urban areas and rural areas.

When contrasting general types of places, use plural nouns ('areas') rather than singular. Suggestion: use plural to express general categories.

× However, if I had to choose one, I'd like to choose umm countryside UMM.

✓ However, if I had to choose one, I'd choose the countryside.

Use 'the countryside' as the correct noun phrase; avoid redundant 'like to choose' and filler words. 'I'd choose' is more natural. Suggestion: use 'the countryside' and concise verb phrasing.

× This is mainly because I can feel fresh atmosphere and peaceful moment in the natural area.

✓ This is mainly because I can feel a fresh atmosphere and peaceful moments in natural areas.

Countable nouns like 'atmosphere' (in this sense) and 'moment' need an article or plural form. Use 'a fresh atmosphere' and plural 'moments' or 'a peaceful moment'. Also 'natural areas' fits general meaning. Suggestion: add articles for singular countable nouns or use plurals for general statements.

× It makes me feel elated and overjoyed.

✓ It makes me feel elated and joyful.

'Overjoyed' is acceptable but can be redundant with 'elated'; using 'joyful' is stylistically smoother. This is more a style suggestion than strict grammar. Suggestion: avoid redundant near-synonyms; choose one strong adjective.

× Well, I really like both of them.

✓ Well, I really like both.

'Both' already implies 'of them'; adding 'of them' is unnecessary. This is a stylistic correction. Suggestion: say 'I really like both' for conciseness.

× However I really prefer umm other countryside umm this is male because I can experience diverse cultural activities and umm different historical background so it makes me improve my umm knowledge.

✓ However, I really prefer other countrysides because I can experience diverse cultural activities and different historical backgrounds, which helps me improve my knowledge.

Multiple issues: 'other countryside' should be 'other countrysides' or 'the countryside in other countries'; 'this is male' is incorrect and likely a mis-speech—removed and replaced with 'because'. Parallel nouns require plurals ('backgrounds'). Use a relative clause 'which helps me improve my knowledge' for clarity. Remove fillers. Suggestion: use plural forms for general statements, ensure logical connectors ('because'), and use relative clauses to show result.