Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct grammar; avoid hesitation and vague phrases. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give 1–2 specific supporting details using linking words. Correct vocabulary (e.g., 'during a trip to Japan', 'scenery', 'blooms', 'local food') and remove filler words like 'uh'.

예시: Yes, I do. I especially like photographing landscapes and cultural scenes. For example, during a trip to Japan I took photos of serene temple gardens and cherry blossom blooms, and I also captured colorful street food stalls to show local cuisine.

제안: Use present tense and reduce repetition. Begin with a direct topic sentence, then add one clear reason with a linking word and a brief example. Replace vague phrases like 'natural things' with specific nouns (e.g., 'forests, fields, and rivers').

예시: I prefer rural views because they offer more natural scenery. For example, I enjoy photographing forests and open fields, as well as rivers and traditional farms, which are hard to find in cities.

제안: Avoid long run-on sentences and correct grammar. Give a clear topic sentence, then one concise reason with a linking word and a specific example. Fix redundancy and improve fluency by saying 'I prefer views abroad' and explaining why with details.

예시: Although I love Taiwan, I prefer views in other countries because I live in a crowded capital city. For instance, when I travel abroad I can easily find open countryside and scenic coastal areas that are rare in my city.

× For example, when I went to Japan for a travel, I usually take pictures of, uh, different sceneries including the serene temples, the build of a blossoms or even a delicious local foods.

✓ For example, when I went to Japan for travel, I usually took pictures of different scenery, including the serene temples, the bloom of cherry blossoms, or even delicious local food.

Errors: 'a travel' is incorrect article use; 'sceneries' is uncountable here so use 'scenery'; tense inconsistency 'went' (past) with 'usually take' should be past habitual 'took'; 'the build of a blossoms' is incorrect phrase and article/word choice; 'a blossoms' wrong article and plural; 'a delicious local foods' mixes singular article with plural noun. Suggestions: remove 'a' before travel, change 'sceneries' to 'scenery', change 'take' to 'took' to match past context, replace 'the build of a blossoms' with 'the bloom of cherry blossoms', and use 'delicious local food' (uncountable).

× Personally, I preferred the views in the rural areas because if it is in the urban area, it is really hard to capture the natural things.

✓ Personally, I prefer the views in rural areas because if it is in an urban area, it is really hard to capture natural scenes.

Errors: 'preferred' is past tense but speaker is stating a general preference, so present tense 'prefer' is correct (Present tense issue). 'the rural areas' and 'the urban area' use unnecessary definite articles; use 'rural areas' and 'an urban area' for general statements. 'capture the natural things' is awkward; 'natural scenes' is more natural. Suggestions: use present simple for general preferences, remove unnecessary articles, and use 'natural scenes' or 'natural features' instead of 'natural things'.

× I enjoy being surrounded by the natural things like trees.

✓ I enjoy being surrounded by natural things like trees.

Error: unnecessary definite article 'the' before 'natural things' makes the phrase awkward; also 'natural things' is acceptable but 'natural features' or 'nature' would be better. Suggestion: remove 'the' or replace phrase with 'nature' or 'natural features'.

× Wow, I love my country very much, but I would say it I am more inclined to the views in other countries because I live in the city, the capital city of Taiwan and it is very compact and small and many people inside in the city it is very hard to capture a natural.

✓ Wow, I love my country very much, but I would say I am more inclined to the views in other countries because I live in the capital city of Taiwan, which is very compact and crowded, so it is hard to capture natural scenery.

Multiple sentence structure and grammar issues: extra 'it' after 'say'; repetition 'the city, the capital city of Taiwan' can be simplified; 'compact and small and many people inside in the city' is ungrammatical and should be 'compact and crowded'; 'capture a natural' is incomplete—'natural scenery' or 'natural scenes' is correct. Suggestions: remove the extra 'it', combine clauses using 'which' and 'so', replace awkward phrasing with 'compact and crowded', and use 'natural scenery'.