Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and clear: start with a direct topic sentence that answers the question, then give one or two specific supporting details. Avoid repetition and filler words (e.g., "I," "uh," "so"). Use linking words like "but" or "however" to show contrast when explaining why you do not always take photos.

예시: I sometimes take photos of views, but I don’t always photograph everything because I prefer to experience nature directly. For example, when I go hiking I focus on the scent of wildflowers and the green scenery rather than spending the whole time taking pictures.

제안: Answer directly and avoid contradicting words: the student began saying they prefer urban areas but then described rural areas positively, causing confusion. Use a clear topic sentence ("I prefer rural areas") and support it with specific reasons and a linking phrase like "because" or "so". Reduce hesitations and correct grammar (singular/plural agreement).

예시: I prefer rural areas because urban landscapes are often noisy and crowded. For instance, in the countryside I can enjoy quiet walks and peaceful scenery, which helps me relax and reduce stress.

제안: Be specific and natural: begin with a clear statement naming the place you prefer, then give two concise, specific examples. Avoid vague or dramatic phrasing like "leaving the earth" and replace with clearer expressions. Use linking words such as "for example" and "which" to connect ideas smoothly.

예시: I prefer views in Africa because the continent offers a wide variety of natural landscapes. For example, I enjoy going on safaris to see wildlife and visiting national parks and large waterfalls, which make me feel amazed and inspired by nature.

× I like taking pictures of those different views because even though I take pictures, I, it's not going to be memorable for me.

✓ I like taking pictures of different views, but when I take pictures they are not memorable for me.

Original sentence is disfluent and contains unnecessary pronouns and awkward clause linking. This is a sentence structure error (ID 26). Suggest simplifying by using a clear conjunction (but) and removing redundant words ('those', repeated 'I'). Ensure clauses are joined logically: 'when I take pictures they are not memorable for me.' Use commas to separate clauses. Grammar problem type ID:26

× So I, I prefer to spend time focusing on those nature rather than photographing everything.

✓ So I prefer to spend time focusing on nature rather than photographing everything.

The phrase 'those nature' is incorrect; 'nature' is an uncountable noun and does not take the demonstrative 'those'. This is an article/noun usage error (ID 22). Remove 'those' and use 'nature' without an article. If referring to specific natural scenes, use 'the natural scenes' or 'those natural scenes.' Grammar problem type ID:22

× So when I go hike, I would choose to enjoy the smell of the flower, uh, the green.

✓ So when I go hiking, I choose to enjoy the smell of the flowers and the greenery.

'Go hike' is incorrect; the correct form is 'go hiking' (verb + -ing) which is ID 8. Also 'the flower' should be plural 'the flowers' and 'the green' is awkward; use 'the greenery.' Use present simple 'I choose' for habitual action rather than 'would choose' unless expressing conditional preference. Grammar problem type ID:8

× I prefer bus in, uh, urban areas because the landscape in, uh, urban areas are noisy, busy, like very stressful for me.

✓ I prefer being in urban areas because the landscapes in urban areas are noisy and busy, which feels very stressful to me.

Original has 'prefer bus in' likely meant 'being in' (pronoun/word choice error ID 12). Also 'landscape ... are' could be singular/plural mismatch; 'landscapes ... are' matches plural. Restructure to 'which feels very stressful to me' for clarity. Grammar problem type ID:12

× So whenever I go to rural areas, uh, that natural scenery helps, helps me, uh, relax and calm a lot.

✓ So whenever I go to rural areas, the natural scenery helps me relax and calm down a lot.

Use 'the natural scenery' to refer to general scenery in that context (article usage ID 17/22). Remove repeated words and add 'down' after 'calm' for idiomatic expression. Grammar problem type ID:17

× I prefer views in Africa because I can enjoy various types of nature there.

✓ I prefer the views in Africa because I can enjoy various types of natural scenery there.

'Various types of nature' is not idiomatic; use 'various types of natural scenery' or 'various aspects of nature.' Also use 'the views in Africa' if referring to specific views mentioned (article usage ID 22 and pluralization ID 1). Grammar problem type ID:22

× For example, uh, there's safari and National Forest park and even huge waterfall is there so whenever I see them I sometimes get overwhelmed but I can feel I'm leaving the earth.

✓ For example, there are safaris, national forest parks, and even huge waterfalls there, so whenever I see them I sometimes get overwhelmed and feel like I'm leaving the earth.

Multiple issues: 'there's' is singular but items listed are plural, so use 'there are' (there be issue ID 3 and subject-verb agreement ID 27). Use plural nouns 'safaris', 'parks', 'waterfalls'. Use parallel listing and replace 'I can feel I'm leaving the earth' with 'I feel like I'm leaving the earth' for natural English. Grammar problem type ID:3