Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Clarify and streamline your response to sound more natural and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler words (umm), correct phrasing (e.g., “I enjoy photographing” not “I enjoy on photographing”), and limit to 2–4 supportive sentences. Add a specific example of a memorable landscape to make your answer more vivid.

예시: Yes, I love taking landscape photos, especially of natural scenes. For example, I once photographed a mountain lake at sunset, and the colors and reflections gave me a strong sense of nostalgia. Because of moments like that, I often revisit my photos to remember the places I've been.

제안: Reduce hesitation and repetitive words, and make the explanation more coherent. Provide a clear topic sentence, then 1–2 specific reasons with linking words (for example, because/so) and a concrete detail (e.g., sounds, smells, activities). Avoid vague phrases like “look in deeply.”

예시: I prefer rural views because being surrounded by nature relaxes me. For example, I enjoy hearing birdsong and seeing wide green fields, which helps me slow down and focus on details when I take photos.

제안: The answer is unclear due to mispronunciations and incorrect word choices (e.g., “juice from other initials”). Restate the main idea clearly (do you prefer views abroad?) and give a specific reason and example. Use simple correct sentences and linking words like “because” or “so” to explain your preference.

예시: I prefer views in other countries because I enjoy discovering unfamiliar landscapes. For instance, seeing coastal cliffs or foreign city skylines in photos inspires me to learn about those places and sometimes plan a visit later.

× I enjoy on photographing different landscapes, especially ones that involve nature.

✓ I enjoy photographing different landscapes, especially those that involve nature.

The verb 'enjoy' is followed directly by a gerund without a preposition. 'On photographing' is incorrect. Also 'ones' is less clear than 'those' when referring to landscapes. Remove 'on' and use 'photographing' after 'enjoy' for correct verb + -ing usage.

× This brings me a sense of satisfaction and each time I go back to this, umm, photos, it gives me this sense of nostalgia, you know, remembering places I've been to before.

✓ This brings me a sense of satisfaction, and each time I look back at these photos it gives me a sense of nostalgia as I remember places I've been to.

The sentence is disorganized and contains incorrect preposition and noun forms. 'Go back to this, photos' is ungrammatical. Use 'look back at these photos' for correct preposition and plural agreement. Combine clauses with appropriate conjunctions and remove filler words for clarity.

× I love, umm, rural areas more because I feel better when I'm surrounded by nature.

✓ I prefer rural areas because I feel better when I'm surrounded by nature.

'I love, umm, rural areas more' is acceptable colloquially but 'prefer' is more precise when comparing urban and rural. Also remove filler 'umm'. This correction improves register and clarity; pronoun use is fine but choice of verb can be improved.

× I love seeing the greens, the green trees and leaves and, you know, weeds.

✓ I love seeing the greenery, the trees and leaves, and even wild plants.

'the greens' and repeated 'green trees' is awkward. Use the noun 'greenery' for a collective idea. 'Weeds' can sound negative; 'wild plants' is more natural. Adjust adjective/noun choices for idiomatic phrasing.

× So and it makes me happy when I'm around. Make sure it gives me the opportunity to look in deeply.

✓ Being around nature makes me happy and gives me the opportunity to reflect more deeply.

Original has fragmented sentences and an incorrect imperative 'Make sure'. Combine ideas into a single coherent sentence and use 'reflect more deeply' to convey 'look in deeply' idiomatically.

× Honestly I prefer juice from other initials.

✓ Honestly, I prefer views from other countries.

The original contains unintelligible words 'juice' and 'initials' instead of 'views' and 'countries'. This appears to be a misuse or transcription error. Correct pronouns/lexical items to match the question about location preference.

× This is because I feel like I have seen a lot of where I'm from so I get to see when it is from other places and it's actually makes me to visit those places without necessarily booking for flights.

✓ This is because I feel like I have seen many places in my own country, so seeing views from other countries lets me discover new scenes and sometimes makes me want to visit them without necessarily booking flights right away.

The original sentence has multiple structural problems: tense and aspect confusion, incorrect clauses ('see when it is from other places'), unnecessary 'to' after 'makes me', and incorrect preposition 'booking for flights'. Restructure the sentence for clarity, correct verb forms, and proper preposition use ('booking flights').