Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: ปรับให้ประโยคเป็นธรรมชาติและชัดเจนมากขึ้น แก้คำผิดและโครงสร้างประโยค โดยเริ่มด้วยประโยคตอบตรงๆ แล้วตามด้วยรายละเอียดสั้นๆ ใช้คำเชื่อมเมื่อเพิ่มข้อมูล ตัวอย่างที่ควรปรับ: คำว่า "chairs" ดูเหมือนไม่ตรงกับบริบท ควรเปลี่ยนเป็นคำที่สื่อความหมาย เช่น "clouds" หรือ "light" และลบคำซ้ำหรือคำที่เกินความจำเป็น

예시: Yes, I enjoy photographing views, especially the sky. I like how the light and colors change throughout the day, which makes each photo unique. I also include people sometimes because their positions and movements add interest to the composition.

제안: คำตอบค่อนข้างดี แต่สามารถทำให้มีความเป็นธรรมชาติมากขึ้นโดยเพิ่มคำเชื่อมเพื่อความลื่นไหลและคำอธิบายที่เฉพาะเจาะจงมากขึ้น เช่น ยกตัวอย่างสถานที่หรืออธิบายว่าบรรยากาศสงบอย่างไร

예시: If I had to choose, I prefer rural areas because they offer beautiful natural scenery, like mountains and rivers. Moreover, the peaceful atmosphere and cleaner air help me relax and concentrate on taking better photos.

제안: ควรปรับให้ประโยคสุดท้ายสมบูรณ์และหลีกเลี่ยงการตัดประโยคกลางคัน เพิ่มคำเชื่อมเพื่อให้โครงสร้างชัดเจน รวมตัวอย่างที่เจาะจงมากขึ้นและอธิบายเหตุผลสั้นๆ ว่าทำไมถึงชอบต่างประเทศ

예시: I prefer views in other countries. Having grown up in my hometown, I'm eager to see different scenery and architecture abroad. For instance, I want to visit coastal landscapes and historic buildings that are rare at home. That said, my town is pleasant and has its own charm, such as traditional markets and friendly neighborhoods.

× I really enjoy photographing views, particularly the sky because the chairs and the color shade all the time.

✓ I really enjoy photographing views, particularly the sky because the clouds and the color shades change all the time.

The student used 'chairs' which is a vocabulary error (not in list) and 'color shade' which is awkward; this falls under incorrect use of adjectives/adverbs since 'color shades' is the appropriate noun phrase. Suggestion: replace incorrect words with accurate nouns and use plural 'shades' to match 'change all the time'.

× I also like the including people in my photos since their position and movements create in interesting compositions.

✓ I also like including people in my photos since their positions and movements create interesting compositions.

The phrase 'the including' incorrectly uses the gerund with a definite article. Use the gerund 'including' without 'the'. Also 'position' should be plural to agree with 'people', and 'an interesting' should be 'interesting' without 'an' because it modifies the plural noun 'compositions'. Suggestion: remove the article before the gerund, pluralize 'position', and use 'interesting' to modify plural noun.

× I also enjoy the peaceful atmosphere and cleaner air compared with cities.

✓ I also enjoy the peaceful atmosphere and cleaner air compared with those in cities.

Comparisons with 'compared with cities' are understandable but slightly ambiguous; adding 'those in' clarifies the noun being compared (atmosphere and air). This is an incorrect use of prepositions/comparison structure. Suggestion: include 'those in' to make the comparison explicit.

× I have grown up in my hometown, so I'm eager to see different scenery and architecture abroad.

✓ I grew up in my hometown, so I'm eager to see different scenery and architecture abroad.

The present perfect 'have grown up' is acceptable but less natural here when referring to a completed past action; 'grew up' (simple past) fits the context. This relates to tense choice. Suggestion: use simple past 'grew up' to indicate past upbringing.

× For example, I would like to visit coastal landscapes and historic buildings that we don't have there.

✓ For example, I would like to visit coastal landscapes and historic buildings that we don't have here.

Using 'there' is confusing because the speaker earlier said they grew up in their hometown; 'here' is more coherent to refer to their country/town. This is an incorrect use of pronouns/adverb of place. Suggestion: use 'here' when contrasting with 'abroad'.

× However, my own town is nice too and has its own.

✓ However, my own town is nice too and has its own charm.

The sentence ends abruptly with 'has its own', missing a noun; this is a sentence structure error. You must complete the phrase with a noun like 'charm' or 'beauty'. Suggestion: add a suitable noun to complete the idea.