Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Your answer is clear and relevant, and you used a topic sentence plus a supporting detail. To improve, make the language more natural (use 'enjoy' instead of 'value'), avoid redundancy, and keep the response concise (max 3–4 short sentences). Add one specific example to make it more vivid.

예시: Yes, I really enjoy taking pictures of different views, especially when I travel abroad. For example, I always photograph city skylines and coastal sunsets so I can remember the atmosphere of each place.

제안: Your main idea (preference for urban views) is clear but the answer includes awkward phrasing, repetition, and inappropriate/unnecessary comments about others' impressions and finances. To improve, state the preference concisely, give one clear reason with a linking word, and avoid irrelevant or potentially offensive remarks. Use natural vocabulary and keep it within 2–4 sentences.

예시: I prefer urban views because cities offer lively streets and interesting architecture. For instance, busy squares and modern buildings make photos more dynamic and show the character of a place.

제안: Your response conveys the idea but contains many errors (word choice: 'different house', 'county' for 'country'), repetition ('very beautiful'), and lacks coherence. To improve, correct vocabulary, use a clear topic sentence, add one specific detail about a memorable scene, and avoid repeating adjectives. Use linking words for coherence.

예시: I prefer views in other countries because scenery abroad often feels new to me after living in my country for 11 years. For example, in Thailand I watched a vivid sunset over the ocean with deep orange and purple colors, which was unforgettable.

× Pers Personally I prefer urban areas because when people are walking around, when you post a picture, people can clearly see that this is an amazing place and they also should visit it.

✓ Personally, I prefer urban areas because when people are walking around and you post a picture, viewers can clearly see that it is an amazing place and may want to visit it.

Type: Sentence structure errors (ID 26) and Incorrect adverb placement (ID 20). The original begins with a typo 'Pers' and repeats 'Personally'; clauses are awkwardly connected with repetitive 'when' and unclear subjects. Change 'when people are walking around, when you post a picture, people can...' to a clearer structure using 'and' to join actions and 'viewers' or 'people' as the subject. Replace 'they also should visit it' with 'may want to visit it' for natural modal meaning and tone. Also add a comma after the introductory adverb 'Personally'.

× And they'll see that you're not in just some unworthy place and that it's terrible and you don't have money to afford a nice vacation.

✓ They will see that you are not in an uninteresting place and that it is not terrible or that you cannot afford a nice vacation.

Type: Incorrect use of pronouns (ID 12) and Sentence structure errors (ID 26). The original 'you're not in just some unworthy place' uses 'unworthy' incorrectly to describe a place and mixes ideas awkwardly. 'You're' suggests 'you are' in a place; better to say 'you are not in an uninteresting place.' The clause 'and that it's terrible and you don't have money to afford a nice vacation' is contradictory and unclear; separate ideas and use 'cannot' for ability. Suggest revising to convey intended meaning clearly.

× I prefer views in different house because I've been living in my county for about 11 years and this is already usual for me.

✓ I prefer views in different countries because I've been living in my country for about 11 years and that has become normal for me.

Type: Article errors (ID 22) and Incorrect word choice / Singular and plural issue (ID 1). 'Different house' is incorrect; likely intended 'different countries' or 'other countries.' 'County' is a typo for 'country.' Also change 'this is already usual for me' to 'that has become normal for me' for natural phrasing. Ensure plural 'countries' to match 'different'.

× The other day I came back from Thailand and I saw the most beautiful sunset that I ever saw and it was just very beautiful and very spectacular and I absolutely loved it.

✓ The other day I came back from Thailand and saw the most beautiful sunset I have ever seen; it was very beautiful and spectacular, and I absolutely loved it.

Type: Past tense issue (ID 5) and Present perfect usage (ID 6). Use present perfect 'I have ever seen' to express an experience up to now. Also simplify redundant phrasing: 'I saw the most beautiful sunset that I ever saw' is repetitive. Remove the second 'saw' and use a semicolon or conjunction to join clauses. Reduce repetitive modifiers ('very beautiful and very spectacular') to concise adjectives.