Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and fluent: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler words (uh, basically), correct grammar (e.g., 'I don't take pictures' not 'I don't take picture'), and limit to 2–3 supporting sentences. Add a brief reason and a specific example to make your answer more natural and informative.

예시: No, I don't usually take photos of views because I prefer to remember the scene with my own eyes. For example, when I visit a mountain or a temple I spend time observing the colors and sounds rather than taking pictures. This helps me keep a stronger memory of the place.

제안: Improve coherence and avoid repetition: give a clear topic sentence, then use one or two specific supporting details linked with a connector (e.g., 'because', 'for example'). Replace vague phrases ('nature is overwhelming') with precise descriptions. Keep it within 3 sentences.

예시: I prefer views in rural areas because the natural scenery is calming. For example, wide green fields and quiet forests help me relax after a busy week. As a result, I usually choose the countryside for weekend walks.

제안: Make grammar accurate and give a clear example: start with a direct statement, explain why with a specific detail, and avoid hesitations. Correct grammar (e.g., 'I prefer views in my own country because I can feel Japan's traditional culture') and provide a concrete example with a short explanation.

예시: I prefer views in my own country because I value Japan's traditional atmosphere. For example, visiting old temples and shrines lets me appreciate historical architecture and seasonal festivals, which I find very meaningful.

× I basically I don't take picture and just focusing on try to look at the scene.

✓ I basically don't take pictures and just focus on trying to look at the scene.

The noun 'picture' should be plural 'pictures' after 'take' to match general action (singular/plural issue). Additionally, 'just focusing on try to look' mixes forms: after 'just' use base verb 'focus' and the correct gerund structure is 'focus on trying' or 'focus on trying to look'. Best is 'just focus on trying to look' to be grammatical and natural.

× it's it's that the nature is overwhelming.

✓ It's that the nature is overwhelming.

Repeated 'it's' is redundant; one 'it's' is enough. The contraction 'it's' (it is) agrees with subject; removing the duplicate corrects the sentence. This addresses unnecessary duplication rather than a strict third-person verb form error but fits as repetition affecting verb usage.

× Then whenever I see it, I feel refreshing and relaxed.

✓ Then whenever I see it, I feel refreshed and relaxed.

The adjective 'refreshing' describes something that causes refreshment; the speaker's feeling should be described with the past participle/adjective 'refreshed'. Use 'refreshed' to indicate the speaker's state after seeing the view.

× So I prefer the rural areas of nature.

✓ So I prefer rural areas with natural scenery.

The original phrase 'rural areas of nature' is awkward and unclear. Rewriting to 'rural areas with natural scenery' fixes sentence structure and makes the meaning natural and grammatically correct.

× I prefer views in my country because it's, I can feel traditional culture in Japan and I love those cultures.

✓ I prefer views in my country because I can feel the traditional culture in Japan, and I love those traditions.

Remove the unnecessary 'it's,' which interrupts the sentence. Use 'the traditional culture' for specificity and 'traditions' rather than 'cultures' when referring to specific practices; this keeps present tense and clarity.

× For example, umm, those temples and shrines is showing, uh, showing, uh, the history is long.

✓ For example, those temples and shrines show a long history.

Subject 'temples and shrines' is plural so the verb should be plural 'show' (not 'is showing'). Also 'the history is long' is better expressed as 'a long history.' Combine into a concise, grammatical sentence in present simple to describe a general fact.