Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise, avoid repetition, and use clearer, more natural phrasing. Start with a direct topic sentence, then give one specific reason with a brief example. Use linking words like “because” or “so” correctly and avoid awkward expressions (e.g., “a raft of perspectives” sounds unnatural here).

예시: Yes, I enjoy photographing different views because it helps me notice details I might otherwise miss. For example, taking landscape photos makes me pay attention to light, color and composition, which improves my observation and creativity.

제안: Give a clear topic sentence naming your preference, then add specific supporting details linked with words like “because” and “for example.” Use correct grammar (plural/singular, articles) and avoid vague phrases like “materials.”

예시: I prefer rural views because they offer more natural subjects to photograph, such as trees, fields and wildlife. For example, I often capture birds flying against wide open skies, which creates more peaceful and varied images than busy city scenes.

제안: Clarify your main point and avoid incorrect words (e.g., “news” should be “views” or “landscapes”). Give one clear reason and a concise example. Use correct sentence structure and linking words like “because” and “however” properly. Avoid unclear phrases such as “it is insisted.”

예시: I prefer landscapes in other countries because my home country is small and popular spots can be crowded. For example, when I visited Australia I found vast, less-known landscapes where I could photograph unique scenes without many people around.

× Yes, I do like to take pictures with different views.

✓ Yes, I like to take pictures of different views.

Use of 'do like' is grammatically possible but unnecessary and sounds emphatic; 'take pictures with different views' is unnatural—use 'take pictures of different views' to indicate photographing views. Suggest using the simple present 'I like' for habitual preference.

× It's because it's because it provides me a raft of perspectives that I can know the objects.

✓ Because it gives me a wide range of perspectives and helps me understand the subjects.

The original repeats 'It's because' and uses awkward phrases 'a raft of perspectives' and 'that I can know the objects.' This is a sentence structure and word choice issue. Use a single clause beginning with 'Because' and clearer verbs: 'gives' and 'helps me understand' (object = subject being photographed). Avoid repetition and choose natural collocations.

× I prefer these in rural area because it provides me a lot of materials to take pictures like the trees.

✓ I prefer rural areas because they provide many subjects to photograph, such as trees.

Problems: 'in rural area' should be plural or have an article ('in rural areas' or 'in the rural area'); 'these' is unclear; 'provides me a lot of materials to take pictures' misuses 'materials' and prepositions. Use 'provide many subjects to photograph' and 'such as' to introduce examples. Also change verb agreement to match plural 'areas' -> 'they provide'.

× Sometimes I can see birds flying in the sky.

✓ Sometimes I see birds flying in the sky.

Original 'I can see' is grammatically acceptable but less natural in this context; changing to simple present 'I see' matches habitual action. No agreement error remains; suggested correction improves style and fits surrounding simple present tense.

× I prefer news in other countries.

✓ I prefer views in other countries.

'News' is incorrect here; the student meant 'views' or 'scenery.' This is a word choice error best categorized under incorrect use of adjectives or nouns. Replace 'news' with 'views' to match context.

× It's because Taiwan's too small, so which means for each landscape there will be probably be a lot of people in that area.

✓ Because Taiwan is small, popular landscapes tend to be crowded with people.

Original contains redundancy ('It's because' + 'which means'), awkward word order, and repeated 'be' ('will be probably be'). Recast into a clear cause-result sentence: 'Because Taiwan is small, popular landscapes tend to be crowded.' Avoid filler words and correct modal/adverb placement ('probably' should be before 'be' if used).

× However, in Australia there are a lot of landscape that some people do not know, it is insisted.

✓ However, in Australia there are many landscapes that are unknown to most people, so they remain relatively untouched.

Multiple problems: 'a lot of landscape' should be 'many landscapes'; 'that some people do not know' is awkward but acceptable; 'it is insisted' is incorrect and unclear. Rephrase to 'unknown to most people' and add a coherent result clause 'so they remain relatively untouched.' This fixes noun number, clarity, and sentence cohesion.