Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Improve grammar and clarity: start with a clear topic sentence, correct verb forms and articles, and avoid repetition. Keep answer within 3–4 concise sentences and add one specific detail (e.g., favourite subject or camera model) using a linking word for coherence.

예시: Yes, I love taking pictures; it has been my hobby since I was about eleven. I photograph many things, especially cityscapes and landscapes, because I enjoy capturing light and movement. For that reason, I own a small mirrorless camera that I use whenever I travel.

제안: Make the response more fluent and grammatically correct; remove fillers and repetition. Begin with a clear preference, give two concise reasons, and use linking words (for example, however, because) to connect ideas.

예시: I prefer urban views because I grew up in cities and enjoy the dynamic atmosphere. Moreover, city scenes offer interesting architecture and street life to photograph, whereas rural areas can feel too quiet for me.

제안: Be concise, avoid hesitations and repetitions, and provide specific reasons or examples. State your preference first, then give 1–2 clear supporting details (e.g., particular landscapes or cultural features) and a linking word to make it coherent.

예시: I prefer views in my own country because I know the best spots and the landscapes are very diverse. For example, Vietnam offers dramatic coastlines and lush rice terraces that I find more appealing than photos I've seen from abroad.

× Of course I'm taking pictures has always been my hobby ever since I was little like around 11.

✓ Of course. Taking pictures has always been my hobby ever since I was little, around eleven.

The original mixes present continuous 'I'm taking' with a present perfect description 'has always been my hobby'. Use the gerund 'Taking' as the subject to match 'has always been'. Also add a pause and commas for clarity and write 'eleven' in words for formality.

× I take a pictures of lots of you from scenery, city or even people.

✓ I take pictures of lots of things, such as scenery, cities, or even people.

Incorrect article 'a' with plural 'pictures' and incorrect pronoun 'you'. Remove 'a' and use plural nouns consistently. Replace 'you' with 'things' and make 'city' plural to match examples. Use 'such as' to list examples.

× I even have a camera which for this purpose only and I also have an.

✓ I even have a camera that I use only for this purpose.

The original sentence is incomplete and ungrammatical: 'which for this purpose only' lacks a verb and the final 'and I also have an.' is fragmentary. Use a relative clause with a subject and verb: 'that I use only for this purpose.' Remove the incomplete fragment.

× Well, I've been living in urban areas for my whole life, so I guess I have a bias for urban areas.

✓ Well, I've lived in urban areas my whole life, so I guess I have a bias toward urban areas.

Present perfect continuous 'I've been living' is acceptable but 'for my whole life' prefers simple perfect 'I've lived'. Also 'bias for' is less common than 'bias toward' in this context. Streamline wording for naturalness.

× Mostly it's because the hustle and bustle atmospheres and the rural areas are sometimes too quiet for me, which which it sometimes it made me, uh, anxious and yeah.

✓ Mostly it's because of the hustle and bustle of the city, and rural areas are sometimes too quiet for me, which sometimes makes me anxious.

Errors: 'because the hustle and bustle atmospheres' is awkward—use 'because of the hustle and bustle of the city'. Duplicate words 'which which it sometimes it' and tense inconsistency 'made' should be 'makes' to match present reference. Remove filler words and streamline sentence.

× Since I haven't traveled overseas, I guess I prefer my own country views more.

✓ Since I haven't traveled overseas, I guess I prefer views in my own country.

'Prefer my own country views more' is awkward. Use 'prefer views in my own country' and omit 'more' because 'prefer' already implies comparison. Tense is appropriate (present perfect for travel experience).

× Well I mean Vietnam is a a nation country, but the scenery it it can I mean it's really beautiful com compared to other countries and.

✓ Well, I mean Vietnam is a nation, and its scenery is really beautiful compared to other countries.

Multiple problems: duplicate 'a a' and 'it it', unnecessary fillers 'can I mean' and stray 'com'. 'Nation country' is redundant; 'Vietnam is a nation' or simply 'Vietnam' suffices. Use possessive 'its scenery' and complete the comparison 'beautiful compared to other countries.' Remove trailing 'and' to finish the sentence.