Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: 문장이 전반적으로 이해되나 몇 가지 문제를 고치면 더 자연스럽고 효과적인 답변이 됩니다. 첫째, 문장이 길고 중복된 표현(예: 'the places I visited, the excellent food I ate')이 있어 간결하게 정리하세요. 둘째, 연결어 사용이 어색하고 문장이 끊긴 부분('I think it is a.')을 완성해야 합니다. 셋째, 구체적인 예시나 감정을 추가하면 내용이 풍부해집니다. 개선 팁: 주제문으로 시작한 뒤, 한두 개의 구체적인 이유를 간결한 문장으로 연결하고 마지막에 짧은 마무리 문장을 넣으세요. 예를 들어 이유별로 'memory'와 'sharing with friends'를 분리하고 'for example' 또는 'so' 같은 연결어를 사용하세요.

예시: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views, especially when I travel. It helps me remember the places I visit and the delicious food I try, so I can look back on those memories. I also like to share my photos with friends, and we often choose our favorite shots together. For example, last month my friends and I voted for a sunset photo I took at the beach.

제안: 좋은 이유를 제시했지만 문장이 길게 이어지다가 끝이 매끄럽지 않습니다. 비교 문장에서 'more relaxing and peaceful than' 다음에 비교 대상을 명시해야 하고, 연결어 사용을 개선하세요. 또한 구체적인 예시(예: 산, 들판, 호수 등)를 넣으면 더 설득력 있습니다. 구조적으로는 주제문 → 이유 1 → 이유 2 → 짧은 결론 순으로 정리하세요.

예시: I prefer views in rural areas because I grew up in a big city and now enjoy open spaces and fresh air. For example, I like walking by lakes and through fields where it is quiet and calm. These scenes feel more relaxing and peaceful than busy urban streets, so I often choose the countryside for weekend trips.

제안: 의견이 명확하고 간결하지만 표현을 더 자연스럽게 다듬을 수 있습니다. 'perspectives'보다 'views'나 'scenery'가 더 적절할 수 있고, 이유를 구체적인 사례로 확장하면 좋습니다. 연결어('because', 'so')는 잘 사용되었으나 한두 문장으로 더 구체적인 경험(예: 특정 나라에서 본 풍경이나 문화)을 덧붙이면 인상적입니다.

예시: I prefer views in other countries because I'm naturally curious and love learning about different cultures. For example, I enjoyed seeing the colorful festivals in Spain and the unique temple landscapes in Japan. Traveling allows me to experience new traditions and scenery that I can't find at home.

× Yes, I like taking pictures of different views, especially when I travel. It helps me remember the places I visited, the excellent food I ate and also I often share my photos with my friends all night.

✓ Yes, I like taking pictures of different views, especially when I travel. It helps me remember the places I visited and the excellent food I ate, and I often share my photos with my friends all night.

Run-on coordination and parallel structure: the list items need consistent conjunctions and placement. Use commas and 'and' correctly to join items. Also move 'also' or remove it for natural flow. Suggestion: keep parallel verbs and use commas before 'and' in a list. (Note: Explanation must be in English per instructions.)

× Then the friends pick the number one picture. I think it is a.

✓ Then my friends pick the number one picture. I think it is a good one.

Missing possessive and incomplete sentence: 'the friends' is unnatural; use 'my friends'. 'I think it is a.' is incomplete and lacks an object/adjective. Provide a complete predicate, e.g., 'a good one.' Suggestion: use possessive pronouns where appropriate and finish sentences with clear nouns or adjectives.

× In my opinion, I prefer views in a rural area because I used to live in a big city in Korea and I have lived in Winnipeg, Canada, so I'd like to enjoy open spaces and fresh air.

✓ In my opinion, I prefer views in rural areas because I used to live in a big city in Korea and I have lived in Winnipeg, Canada, so I'd like to enjoy open spaces and fresh air.

Preposition/number agreement: 'in a rural area' sounds specific; when comparing urban vs rural views generally, use plural 'rural areas' or 'the countryside.' Suggestion: use 'rural areas' to match general preference and parallel 'urban areas' in the question.

× Also, I can find the scenery more relaxing and peaceful than.

✓ Also, I find the scenery more relaxing and peaceful than in the city.

Incomplete comparative clause: 'more ... than' requires a comparison object. Add 'in the city' (or 'in urban areas') to complete the comparison. Also, 'I can find' is less natural than 'I find' in this context.

× I prefer perspectives from other countries because I'm a curious person.

✓ I prefer views from other countries because I'm a curious person.

Word choice: 'perspectives' is not the usual collocation with 'views' in this context; the question asks about 'views' (scenery). Use 'views' to match meaning. Suggestion: choose vocabulary that matches the prompt for clarity.

× Also, I am a big fan of traveling so I like to explore other cultures and traditions.

✓ Also, I am a big fan of traveling, so I like exploring other cultures and traditions.

Verb form consistency: after 'like' both 'to explore' and 'exploring' are possible, but 'like exploring' sounds more natural when paired with 'a big fan of traveling.' Use gerund to maintain style consistency. Also add a comma before 'so' to join clauses properly.