Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: 回答は明確ですが、言い回しに不自然さや冗長さがあります。トピック文をもっと自然にし、Supporting details（どんな風景を撮るか、なぜ撮るか、頻度や手段）をリンク詞でつなげるとよいです。具体的な語彙（sceneryの代わりにlandscape, skyline, panoramaなど）や短く明瞭な文を使い、5文以内に収めてください。改善ポイントは：1) 自然な主文（I enjoy...）で始める、2) 理由や頻度をbecauseやsoでつなぐ、3) 具体例を一つ入れる、4) 不要なフレーズ（as my moment）は避ける。

예시: Yes, I enjoy taking photos of different views. I often take pictures when I travel because I like capturing landscapes and local skylines. For example, I usually photograph mountain panoramas or city skylines at sunset to remember the atmosphere. I also sometimes share my best shots on social media.

제안: 内容は一応選好を示していますが、多くが文法的に不自然で意味が曖昧です（'library experience'や'those of you'など）。まず簡潔な主文で好みを述べ、becauseで理由を明確に述べてください。具体的な都市の特徴（skyscrapers, busy streets, modern architectureなど）を挙げ、なぜそれが魅力的か（vibrant, dynamic, photo opportunities）を説明するとよいです。接続詞（because, for example, so）で文をつなぎ、最大5文にすること。

예시: I prefer urban views because I enjoy the energy and variety of cityscapes. For example, skyscrapers, busy streets, and modern architecture provide interesting shapes and lighting for photography. Also, cities offer diverse neighborhoods and cultural scenes that make each photo unique.

제안: 考えは伝わりますが表現が不自然で曖昧です（'see the bill which I'm familiar with me'）。まず簡潔に好みを述べ、理由を具体的に説明してください（新しい風景、文化の違い、学びの機会など）。'tired of'の代わりに 'want to explore different landscapes' のような表現を使うと自然です。接続詞（because, so, for example）を使い、具体例を一つ入れてください。

예시: I prefer views in other countries because I enjoy exploring new landscapes and cultures. For example, seeing architecture and natural scenery that are different from my hometown helps me learn and feel refreshed. I often plan trips to places with unique landmarks or natural features to take photos and experience something new.

× I often take a picture when I'm traveling.

✓ I often take pictures when I'm traveling.

The noun 'picture' should be plural when referring to habitual/general actions; use 'pictures' to match 'often'. Suggestion: Use plural nouns for repeated actions (e.g., 'take pictures').

× I like taking a picture of the scenery as my moment.

✓ I like taking pictures of scenery to capture moments.

The original mixes singular 'a picture' with an abstract phrase 'my moment' awkwardly. Use plural 'pictures' and a clearer phrase 'capture moments'. Suggestion: Use plural and a clear verb phrase to express purpose.'

× I prefer the view of urban areas because this urbanized landscapes are very cool and I like such a library experience and other areas which make me love those of you.

✓ I prefer views of urban areas because these urbanized landscapes are very cool, and I enjoy the lively atmosphere and other features that attract me.

Errors: 'this' with plural 'landscapes' (demonstrator agreement), awkward phrase 'such a library experience' and 'make me love those of you' which is ungrammatical. Correct demonstrative to 'these', simplify phrases, and use 'that attract me'. Suggestion: Ensure demonstratives match noun number and replace unclear phrases with concise expressions.'

× I prefer the view of other countries because I feel very tired of my accustomed view of my country.

✓ I prefer views in other countries because I am tired of the familiar views in my country.

Use plural 'views' for general preference and replace 'my accustomed view of my country' with 'the familiar views in my country' for natural English; use 'am tired' for current state. Suggestion: Use plural for general preferences and natural collocations like 'tired of' + noun phrase.'

× So I really want to see the bill which I'm familiar with me.

✓ So I really want to see sights that I'm not familiar with.

Original sentence uses 'bill' incorrectly and ungrammatical relative clause 'which I'm familiar with me'. Replace 'bill' with 'sights' (or 'places') and use correct relative clause 'that I'm not familiar with' to express desire to see new things. Suggestion: Use appropriate nouns ('sights', 'places') and correct relative clause structure: 'that/which I am familiar with' or 'that I am not familiar with' as needed.'