Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: 문장이 자연스럽지 않고 중복 표현(예: 'He's like', 'as like')과 문법 오류(관사, 복수형, 문장 종결 누락)가 있습니다. 응답 구조가 주제문→세부설명 순으로 명확하지 않고 문장이 길게 늘어져 있어서 의미 전달이 흐립니다. 개선 포인트: 1) 불필요한 말('He's like') 제거하고 주제문을 명확히 말하세요. 2) 관사(a/the)와 복수형(photos, mountains)을 정확히 사용하세요. 3) 문장을 2~3문장으로 제한하고, 연결어(for example, because 등)를 사용해 논리적으로 이어가세요. 4) 감정 표현은 간단히 마무리하세요.

예시: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views. For example, I often photograph natural landscapes such as mountains and the sea because I find them calming. Taking photos of nature makes me feel relaxed.

제안: 표현이 부자연스럽고 문법과 어순 오류가 있습니다('in countryside' → 'in the countryside', 'they're very a lot of wildlife' 등). 또 비교 설명이 모호하고 문장이 중복됩니다. 개선 포인트: 1) 올바른 전치사와 관사 사용(‘in the countryside’). 2) 단정적인 이유를 명확하게 제시(‘because there is more wildlife and fewer buildings’). 3) 연결어(so, therefore)를 사용해 근거와 결과를 연결하세요. 4) 문장을 2문장 이내로 유지하고 구체적 예시를 추가하면 더 좋습니다.

예시: I prefer views in the countryside because there is much more wildlife and fewer buildings. For instance, I can often see birds and open fields, so I feel more relaxed there than in the city.

제안: 중복 발화('I, I', 'umm')와 미완성 문장으로 인해 의사가 불명확합니다. 또한 'watch something familiar with me'라는 표현은 어색합니다. 개선 포인트: 1) 중복 발화와 채움말(uh, umm)을 줄이세요. 2) 'familiar'를 사용할 때는 'places I'm familiar with'처럼 자연스럽게 표현하세요. 3) 이유를 구체적으로 제시하고 문장을 완결하세요(예: 'I don't travel much, so familiar places are more comfortable').

예시: I prefer views in my hometown because I feel more comfortable in places I know well. Since I don't travel abroad often, familiar scenery feels more relaxing and meaningful to me.

× He's like, yes, I like to take pictures of different views.

✓ Yes, I like to take pictures of different views.

The speaker used 'He's like' as a filler which misuses the pronoun 'He'. Use a simple affirmation instead. Suggestion: omit 'He's like' and say 'Yes' or 'I mean' for clarity.

× For example, I usually take photo of a natural landscape or as like mountain or sea.

✓ For example, I usually take photos of natural landscapes, such as mountains or the sea.

Use plural 'photos' for general actions and plural nouns for examples ('mountains'). Use 'such as' instead of 'as like'. Include 'the' before 'sea' when referring to a specific natural feature. Suggestion: use plural forms for general statements and the phrase 'such as' for examples.

× And yeah, taking photo of natural things makes me very.

✓ And yeah, taking photos of natural things makes me very happy.

The sentence is incomplete; 'makes me very' requires an adjective to complete the idea. Also change 'photo' to plural 'photos'. Suggestion: finish the predicate with an adjective like 'happy' or 'relaxed'.

× I prefer watching views in countryside, uh, because they're very a lot of wildlife and there are fewer artificial things.

✓ I prefer viewing scenery in the countryside because there is a lot of wildlife and fewer artificial structures.

Use 'the countryside' with the definite article. 'Watching views' is awkward; 'viewing scenery' or 'seeing views' is better. 'They're very a lot of wildlife' is ungrammatical; use 'there is a lot of wildlife'. Use 'fewer' with countable nouns like 'structures' or 'buildings'. Suggestion: say 'the countryside' and use 'there is/are' correctly.

× Artificial buildings and natural things are more than.

✓ There are more natural things than artificial buildings.

The original word order and comparison are unclear. To express a comparison, use 'There are more X than Y' or 'X are more common than Y'. Suggestion: reorder the sentence to compare two categories clearly.

× Uh, I prefer views in my hometown because umm, I, I prefer to watch something familiar with me and actually I don't travel to other countries or provinces a lot, so I think it's better for me to.

✓ I prefer views in my hometown because I prefer to see familiar places, and I don't travel to other countries or provinces very often, so I think that's better for me.

Use 'see' or 'view' rather than 'watch' for places; 'familiar with me' is incorrect—use 'familiar to me' or 'familiar places'. 'A lot' should be 'very often' or 'often' in this context. The sentence was also incomplete; add 'that's better for me' to finish the thought. Suggestion: use correct collocations ('familiar to me', 'travel often') and complete the sentence.