Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and grammatical: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Avoid fillers (umm, uh) and watch singular/plural and prepositions (pictures, when I visit abroad, compared to views in Korea). Use a linking phrase to connect ideas.

예시: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views. For example, when I travel abroad I take many photos of iconic places to remember them, whereas at home in Korea I tend to photograph everyday scenes less often.

제안: Give a clear direct answer first (urban or rural) and then provide two specific reasons, using linking words (because, however). Remove unclear phrases and filler words. Keep sentences short and grammatical, and use correct vocabulary (walking through a park/forest, prefer rural for progress is unclear—explain what you mean).

예시: I prefer views in urban areas because I love the architecture and energy of my city. For instance, I often walk through parks and photograph modern buildings and busy streets. However, I also enjoy rural scenery sometimes because it feels peaceful and natural.

제안: Answer directly and explain clearly with specific reasons and examples. Avoid repetition and fillers. Use correct collocations (prefer views in my own country; the scenery shows how society and culture have developed). Provide one concrete example linking studies to observations.

예시: I prefer views in my own country because they reflect the society and culture I study. For example, as a sociology student I notice how new buildings and public spaces in Korea show rapid development and changing lifestyles, which I find fascinating to photograph.

× Yeah, I like umm, for instance, if I visit abroad, I especially take a lot of picture because I want to remember it's very iconic, uh, compared to viewing here Korea.

✓ Yeah, I like, for instance, when I visit abroad, I especially take a lot of pictures because I want to remember iconic places, compared to the views here in Korea.

Errors: 'if I visit abroad' uses incorrect conditional; use 'when' for habitual action (Grammar Problem Type 8 and 6). 'take a lot of picture' has singular/plural issue; should be 'pictures' (Type 1). 'remember it's very iconic' is awkward and incorrect structure; replace with 'remember iconic places'. 'viewing here Korea' uses incorrect preposition and word order; correct to 'the views here in Korea' (Type 11). Suggestion: use 'when' for repeated actions, pluralize countable nouns, and use correct prepositions and noun phrases.

× So when I work through the like reading forest, I always take picture and which is really nice.

✓ So when I walk through the nearby forest, I always take pictures, which is really nice.

Errors: 'work through' is likely wrong verb choice; use 'walk through' to describe moving through a forest (Type 26 sentence structure). 'the like reading forest' is unclear; 'nearby forest' or simply 'the forest' fits. 'take picture' is singular/plural error; should be 'take pictures' (Type 1). Also sentence structure: remove 'and which' and join with a comma plus 'which'. Suggestion: choose accurate verbs for movement, pluralize countable nouns, and use correct clause linking.

× I'll say a way more prepared view in an urban area, especially I'm from here so and I really love this city.

✓ I'd prefer much more developed views in urban areas, especially because I'm from here and I really love this city.

Errors: 'I'll say a way more prepared view' is ungrammatical and awkward; use 'I'd prefer much more developed views' to express preference (Type 26). 'a way more' is informal and incorrect in this context (Type 13). 'especially I'm from here so and' has incorrect conjunction use; use 'especially because I'm from here and'. Suggestion: use standard comparative phrases ('much more developed') and connect clauses with appropriate conjunctions.

× And on the other hand, if I go to rural, it's just the progress for me actually.

✓ And on the other hand, if I go to the countryside, it's just a change of pace for me actually.

Errors: 'go to rural' is incorrect preposition and noun form; use 'go to the countryside' (Type 11). 'it's just the progress' is wrong word choice; 'change of pace' conveys intended meaning. Suggestion: use correct nouns ('countryside') after 'go to' and choose idiomatic expressions for meaning.

× Uh, I, I prefer to be umm in my country, which is really nice because, you know, I'm studying sociology and outside the view is the wonderful way how the society, umm and umm, the culture grew up.

✓ I prefer to be in my country, which is really nice because, as a sociology student, the outside views show how society and culture grow.

Errors: 'prefer to be umm in my country' has filler words and awkward infinitive; simplified to 'I prefer to be in my country' (Type 6). 'outside the view is the wonderful way how the society...the culture grew up' mixes tenses and incorrect verb forms; use present tense 'show' and base verb 'grow' to describe general facts (Type 6 and 5). 'grew up' is past tense incorrectly used for general truth. Suggestion: remove fillers, use present simple for general truths, and use clear noun phrases like 'outside views'.

× And in this vision in Korea, you know, like there are lots of building, umm, which means umm, they grow.

✓ And in this view of Korea, there are lots of buildings, which shows they have grown.

Errors: 'in this vision in Korea' misuses 'vision'; correct to 'in this view of Korea' (Type 26). 'lots of building' singular/plural error; should be 'buildings' (Type 1). 'which means umm, they grow' has unclear pronoun reference and tense; 'which shows they have grown' clarifies meaning and uses present perfect to indicate development up to now (Type 12 and 5). Suggestion: use correct noun forms, clear pronoun references, and appropriate tense to express development.