Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and avoid filler words (e.g., "umm"). Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one specific supporting detail or example. Use varied vocabulary and link ideas to sound more natural.

예시: Yes, I love photographing different views because I enjoy photography. For example, I often take photos of sunsets at the beach, which helps me relax and improves my composition skills.

제안: Give a clear preference first, then support it with specific reasons and examples. Reduce repetition and correct awkward phrases (e.g., "earthy taking pictures"). Use linking words like "however" or "because" to structure the response.

예시: I prefer urban views because they offer intricate details and repeating patterns. For instance, I enjoy photographing city facades and street grids, which allow me to focus on textures and geometry.

제안: Provide a concise main idea and one or two specific supporting points. Avoid repetition and filler. Mention a brief example comparing home and abroad to make your answer more vivid.

예시: I don't have a clear favorite because each country offers unique scenery. For example, at home I can capture familiar seasonal landscapes, while abroad I might photograph exotic architecture or unusual wildlife, which broadens my photographic style.

× It's one of the best things that can make you calm in my opinion.

✓ It's one of the best things that can calm you, in my opinion.

The phrase 'make you calm' is not incorrect but 'calm you' is a more natural and concise verb-object structure in English. Also adding a comma before 'in my opinion' improves clarity.

× Actually I love both, both are really fun and I'd say even soothing in a way as they make you calm and make your emotions stable.

✓ Actually I love both; they are really fun and even soothing in a way because they calm you and stabilize your emotions.

The original sentence is wordy and slightly unbalanced. Replacing 'as' with 'because' clarifies cause, using 'they calm you' is more natural, and 'stabilize your emotions' is a more idiomatic phrasing than 'make your emotions stable.' A semicolon or period improves sentence flow.

× But I definitely still prefer earthy taking pictures of the urban areas as you can see the details and you can find a pattern in those kind of pictures.

✓ But I definitely still prefer taking earthy pictures of urban areas because you can see the details and find patterns in those kinds of pictures.

The original word order 'prefer earthy taking pictures' is incorrect; the correct order is 'prefer taking earthy pictures.' 'Urban areas' should not have 'the' here. Use 'because' for clarity and 'those kinds of pictures' is the correct plural form. Also 'find patterns' is more natural than 'find a pattern'.

× Well, I'd say I really don't have a favorite as every single country is beautiful in its own way.

✓ Well, I'd say I really don't have a favorite because every country is beautiful in its own way.

Using 'as' here is acceptable but can be vague; 'because' is clearer. 'Every single country' is redundant; 'every country' is more concise. Pronoun usage 'its own way' is fine but flows better after simplifying the noun phrase.

× Its own has different beauty, different nature, and you can even, uh, you can even practice taking different types of pictures and styles.

✓ Each has different kinds of beauty and nature, and you can even practice taking different types of photos and styles.

'Its own has different beauty' is ungrammatical; use 'Each has different kinds of beauty.' Remove filler 'uh' and the repeated 'you can even.' 'Pictures' is fine but 'photos' is a bit more natural in this context. The corrected sentence is more concise and grammatical.