Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition (e.g. 'Honestly' three times), and add one specific supporting detail using a linking word. Also correct collocations and minor grammar (e.g. 'a kind of guy of' → 'the kind of person who'). Keep to under five sentences.

예시: I don't really enjoy taking photos of views; I prefer just appreciating them. For example, when I visit a beach I like to sit and watch the sunset rather than try to photograph it. Because I don't own a good camera and I'm not confident with photography, I usually leave my phone in my bag.

제안: Open with a direct topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons using linking words (e.g. 'because' or 'for example'). Avoid vague phrases and correct article use ('rural areas', 'urban areas'). Keep sentences clear and shorter.

예시: I prefer views in rural areas. For example, I love watching sunsets on the beach and seeing mountains under clear skies because they make me feel relaxed and peaceful, whereas urban scenes remind me of busy city life.

제안: Be careful with tone—avoid calling your country 'boring'; use comparative language politely. Start with a clear statement, then give specific examples and a linking word. Use correct prepositions ('in Japan', 'the Philippines') and natural phrases ('cherry blossoms' not 'trail blossoms').

예시: I prefer views in other countries, especially Japan, because I enjoy seeing cherry blossoms and iconic sights like Mount Fuji. Also, cities such as Tokyo have impressive landmarks like the Skytree, which I find fascinating compared with the more familiar scenery at home.

× I am more a kind of guy of just appreciating the views.

✓ I am more the kind of guy who just appreciates the views.

Incorrect preposition and structure: 'a kind of guy of' is not idiomatic. Use 'the kind of guy who' + present simple verb for habitual action. Also change 'appreciating' to 'appreciates' to match 'guy who'. Suggestion: use 'the kind of person who + verb' for describing habits.

× Plus I don't have a great camera or cell phone to capture photos and I am not skilled with it, thus it is not for me.

✓ Plus I don't have a great camera or cell phone to capture photos, and I'm not skilled with them, so photography is not for me.

Pronoun disagreement and unclear reference: 'it' refers to 'camera or cell phone' (plural), so use 'them'. Also use a clearer noun phrase 'photography' instead of 'it'. Replace 'thus' with 'so' for natural speech. Combine clauses with a comma and conjunction.

× Honestly, I prefer the scenery in the rural area such as sunset at the beach, mountain regions with clear skies because I feel comfortable looking at it and just appreciating it, unlike the views on the urban areas.

✓ Honestly, I prefer scenery in rural areas, such as sunsets at the beach and mountain regions with clear skies, because I feel comfortable looking at and appreciating them, unlike the views in urban areas.

Article and number issues: 'the rural area' should be 'rural areas' or 'the countryside'. Use plural 'sunsets' and plural pronoun 'them' to refer to 'scenery' or 'views'. Preposition 'in' is correct for areas, not 'on'. Streamline by removing unnecessary 'the' before 'rural' and 'urban'.

× It just makes me remember how busy life is.

✓ It just reminds me how busy life is.

Verb choice: 'makes me remember' is grammatical but unnatural here; 'reminds me' is the correct collocation. No preposition error in sentence but correction improves naturalness.

× Honestly, I prefer the views in other countries, especially Japan wherein I can see trail blossoms and Mount Fuji.

✓ Honestly, I prefer the views in other countries, especially Japan, where I can see cherry blossoms and Mount Fuji.

Incorrect or awkward relative word: 'wherein' is formal and odd in speech; use 'where'. Also 'trail blossoms' is likely a mistaken collocation; 'cherry blossoms' is the common term for Japan.

× Also the city life there is great such as the Tokyo Skytree.

✓ Also, city life there is great, for example the Tokyo Skytree.

Sentence needs a linking phrase rather than 'such as' after a clause; use 'for example' or restructure: 'city life there is great, for example the Tokyo Skytree.' Add commas for clarity.

× Unlike here in my country the Philippines, it is usually a boring scenery.

✓ Unlike here in my country, the Philippines, the scenery is usually boring.

Word order and article usage: 'it is usually a boring scenery' is awkward—'scenery' is uncountable, use 'boring' without 'a'. Also punctuation: set off appositive 'the Philippines' with commas. Place subject 'the scenery' before predicate for natural order.