Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and organized: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons with linking words. Reduce repetition and correct basic grammar (e.g., verb forms, pronouns). Aim for 2–4 sentences, use linking words like 'because' or 'so', and give one concrete example.

예시: I sometimes take pictures of views, but it depends on my mood. When I travel alone I often photograph scenery to capture the moment and remember where I was, because I have time to explore quietly. However, when I am with friends I usually put my camera away and enjoy socializing instead.

제안: Be specific and correct vocabulary: clearly state your preference in the first sentence, then give specific sensory details and one short example. Avoid vague phrases and unclear place names. Use linking words like 'because' and 'for example' to connect ideas.

예시: I prefer rural views to urban ones because I enjoy natural scenery like trees, rivers, and hills. For example, when I visited Iko, I loved the views of the water and the surrounding forests, which felt peaceful compared with busy city streets.

제안: Answer directly and fix grammar: start with a clear statement (e.g., 'I prefer views in my own country because...'), correct negative grammar ('I have never been'), and give one specific example with a short reason. Keep sentences natural and avoid awkward phrases like 'making a lot of sense.'

예시: I prefer views in my own country because I have never traveled abroad. For instance, when I visited Ikita State at La Fair, the landscape and fresh air were breathtaking and made me appreciate local nature.

× Actually, to be very honest, it depends on my mood because at times when I go to somewhere and I go there, I went there alone.

✓ Actually, to be very honest, it depends on my mood because sometimes when I go somewhere alone,

Original sentence is repetitive and mixes tenses ('go' and 'went') and includes an unnecessary preposition 'to' before 'somewhere', causing sentence structure errors. Use a single simple present verb 'go' for habitual situations and place 'alone' after 'somewhere' for clarity. Suggestion: keep tense consistent and remove redundant phrases.

× I tend to take picture of things because taking picture is capturing the moment and also I really don't have what I'm doing and I'm the only one there.

✓ I tend to take pictures of things because taking pictures captures the moment, and also I often do not have anyone with me so I'm the only one there.

Errors include missing plural on 'picture' (should be 'pictures') and awkward clause 'I really don't have what I'm doing'. 'Taking pictures captures the moment' uses correct present simple; 'do not have anyone with me' expresses the intended meaning. Use plural nouns and correct verb forms.

× So not to feel both.

✓ So I do it to avoid feeling lonely.

Original is unclear and lacks grammatical structure. 'Not to feel both' is not idiomatic. Provide a complete clause with subject and verb: 'I do it to avoid feeling lonely' clearly expresses the intention.

× I take pictures, but when I'm there with friends and a lot of people, I don't photograph because I tend to enjoy the moments with people around me at that moment.

✓ I take pictures, but when I'm there with friends or many people, I don't take photos because I prefer to enjoy the moments with them.

Use consistent present tense and a clearer verb 'take photos' instead of 'photograph' as a noun/verb mix. 'A lot of people' -> 'many people' or 'a lot of people' is acceptable; streamline to 'friends or many people'. Avoid repeating 'at that moment'.

× I prefer views of the area in the sense that it is a developing area and there are a lot of views, a lot of trees, a lot of mountains and hills to see.

✓ I prefer views of rural areas because they are developing and have many trees, mountains, and hills to see.

Original uses 'of the area' and 'in the sense that' awkwardly. Use plural 'rural areas' and 'have many' to list features. Preposition and article use improved for natural English.

× The last time I went to Iko see there are a lot of views from the tree, the water, the natural view.

✓ The last time I went to Iko, I saw many views: trees, water, and natural scenery.

Original mixes tenses and has redundant words. 'Went to Iko see' is ungrammatical. Use 'I saw' (past simple) to describe a past experience and list items clearly. 'Natural scenery' is idiomatic.

× So I prefer the rural area to the Umba area.

✓ So I prefer the rural areas to the urban areas.

Probably meant 'urban' not 'Umba'. Use plural forms and correct preposition 'prefer X to Y'. Ensure accurate vocabulary ('urban').

× To be very honest, I have no never been to another country, so I would say in my own country I prefer the view, especially the rural area in my country like LA Fair, Ikita States.

✓ To be honest, I have never been to another country, so I would say I prefer the views in my own country, especially the rural areas, such as LA Fair in Ikita State.

'No never' is a double negative; use 'never'. 'Prefer the view' should be 'prefer the views'. Use plural 'rural areas' and correct place name form 'Ikita State' (singular) unless plural intended. Replace awkward phrasing with clearer structure and correct pronoun placement.

× When the last time I went there, I really enjoyed the view and the environment.

✓ The last time I went there, I really enjoyed the views and the environment.

Do not add 'when' before 'the last time' here; use simple past 'The last time I went there'. 'View'->'views' to match earlier plural references. Keep past tense consistent.

× It is breathtaking and making a lot of sense.

✓ It was breathtaking and very meaningful to me.

Mixes present 'is' with past context; use past 'was' to match 'last time I went'. 'Making a lot of sense' is inappropriate for describing scenery; use 'very meaningful' or 'impressive'. Adjust adjective use accordingly.