Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid redundant phrases and vague words (e.g., “the nature and outcome” is unclear). Add one specific supporting detail with a clear linking phrase. Keep to no more than 3–4 short sentences.

예시: Yes, I enjoy photographing different views, especially natural landscapes and festivals. For example, I often photograph local birdlife during spring because their behavior and colorful plumage tell a story about the season.

제안: Make a direct topic sentence and correct grammar: use singular/plural appropriately and clear contrast words. Explain one specific reason with a linking word. Avoid contradictory phrases (e.g., "businesses in the countryside").

예시: I prefer rural views because living in a big city means I already see skyscrapers every day. For example, in the countryside I enjoy quiet fields and wide horizons, which feel relaxing compared with the busy city streets.

제안: Use correct words and avoid fillers: replace incorrect word "wheels" with "views" and remove filler sounds like "uh." Start with a clear statement, then give one concrete example and link it to your feeling or reason.

예시: I prefer views in other countries because I enjoy exploring new places and cultures. For example, sitting by a blue ocean in a coastal country created a vivid memory for me, since the light and local food made the visit unforgettable.

× For example, I like capturing wildlife and local festivals because they make me feel connected to the nature and outcome.

✓ For example, I like capturing wildlife and local festivals because they make me feel connected to nature and the environment.

The phrase 'the nature' incorrectly uses the definite article; 'nature' in this general sense is uncountable and does not need 'the'. 'Outcome' is not the appropriate noun here; 'environment' fits the intended meaning (the surrounding natural world). Suggestion: use 'connected to nature' or 'connected to the natural environment.'

× I prefer views in rural area because I am living in a big city and I am familiar with the skyscrapers and businesses in the countryside.

✓ I prefer views in rural areas because I live in a big city and I am familiar with the skyscrapers and businesses in the city.

The noun 'area' should be plural ('rural areas') when speaking generally. Also 'in the countryside' conflicts with earlier clause; likely intended contrast is between city and countryside, so 'in the city' or rephrase. Additionally, 'I am living' is less natural here (see next item). Suggestion: use plural 'rural areas' when speaking generally and ensure contrasting place is accurate.

× I prefer views in rural area because I am living in a big city and I am familiar with the skyscrapers and businesses in the countryside.

✓ I prefer views in rural areas because I live in a big city and I am familiar with the skyscrapers and businesses in the city.

The present simple 'I live' is preferred for habitual or permanent situations rather than the present continuous 'I am living.' Use present simple for routines or facts. Suggestion: use 'I live in a big city' to state where you normally live.

× I can enjoy a totally different scenery, quieter surroundings open.

✓ I can enjoy a totally different scenery: quieter surroundings and open spaces.

The original sentence has a fragment and incorrect word order ('quieter surroundings open' is ungrammatical). Adding a colon and completing the list with 'and open spaces' fixes the structure and clarifies meaning. Suggestion: list parallel items and include nouns that complete phrases.

× I prefer wheels in other countries because I like exploring new places and discovering different cultures.

✓ I prefer views in other countries because I like exploring new places and discovering different cultures.

'Wheels' is an incorrect word choice and likely a mispronunciation or typo for 'views.' This is a word choice/pronoun error category here treated as incorrect use of a word representing the idea. Suggestion: use 'views' to match the question about taking pictures of views.

× For example, visiting coastal countries, uh, sitting by the blue ocean provides me with a special memory that I can look back on.

✓ For example, visiting coastal countries and sitting by the blue ocean provides me with special memories that I can look back on.

The original mixes a participial phrase with a singular verb and an unnecessary filler 'uh.' If you mean the combined experience generally, use the gerund phrase 'visiting... and sitting...' as the subject and match with plural 'memories' if referring to multiple occasions. Also 'a special memory' is singular; 'special memories' fits better for repeated experiences. Suggestion: remove fillers and make the subject and verb agree, and choose singular or plural consistently.