Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Reduce hesitations and grammar errors, use singular/plural correctly, and organize into a clear topic sentence plus one specific detail. Aim for natural vocabulary and avoid filler sounds. For example, say one clear reason and give one concrete example of what you photograph.

예시: Yes, I enjoy taking photos of different views, especially when I travel. For example, I often photograph mountain landscapes and small wildflowers because they capture the atmosphere of the place and are easy to frame in a composition.

제안: Start with a direct topic sentence stating your preference, then give two short, linked reasons. Avoid vague words and unclear vocabulary (e.g., 'scant'). Use linking words (because, for example, so) to connect ideas and keep sentences concise.

예시: I prefer rural views because they are peaceful and full of greenery. For example, the slow pace of life and wide open fields help me relax and notice details like wildflowers and distant hills.

제안: Give a clear opening statement and avoid unclear words (e.g., 'Bill'). Use correct tense and sentence structure, and provide one concrete image or memory to support your preference. Keep it to two or three sentences maximum.

예시: I prefer views in my own country, especially in my hometown. For example, the town has green lawns and shining pagodas that create a peaceful, familiar atmosphere I really enjoy.

× Yes, I do love taking picture of a different view, especially when I, I, uh, when I'm, I'm on a trip, I love to take pictures of the, uh, bearings and the greenery space or the mountains, even a small flowers.

✓ Yes, I do love taking pictures of different views, especially when I'm on a trip. I love to take pictures of the scenery, green spaces, the mountains, or even small flowers.

The noun 'picture' should be plural 'pictures' because the speaker refers generally to taking multiple photos (verb + -ing 'taking' is fine). 'Different view' should be 'different views' to match plural. 'Greenery space' is not idiomatic; use 'green spaces'. 'Bearings' is incorrect meaning for scenery; use 'scenery'. 'A small flowers' mixes singular article with plural noun; change to 'small flowers'. Also remove repeated fillers and repeated pronouns for clarity.

× Where if I have to choose one, I will choose rural area because I love the atmospheres of peaceful environments from the uh, rural area, especially the countryside is scant, make me feel uh slow down and the pace of life there is very slow. Then everywhere is very green.

✓ If I have to choose one, I will choose a rural area because I love the atmosphere of peaceful environments in rural areas; especially the countryside makes me feel relaxed and the pace of life is very slow. Everywhere there is very green.

'Rural area' needs an article when singular: 'a rural area'. 'The atmospheres' should be singular 'the atmosphere' or simply 'the atmosphere of peaceful environments'. 'From the rural area' is awkward; use 'in rural areas'. 'The countryside is scant' is incorrect and unclear; likely intended 'the countryside makes me feel relaxed' or 'calm'. 'Make me feel slow down' is ungrammatical; change to 'makes me feel relaxed' or 'helps me slow down'. Note: last sentence 'Then everywhere is very green' changed to 'Everywhere there is very green' is still awkward; better 'The countryside is very green.' but kept close to original.

× Well, I prefer Bill from my own country, especially my hometown. Everywhere is very, uh, green and glittering because my hometown was My hometown is filled with green lawn and glittering pagoda, which made the town very peaceful.

✓ Well, I prefer views from my own country, especially my hometown. It is very green and beautiful because my hometown is filled with green lawns and glittering pagodas, which make the town very peaceful.

'Bill' is incorrect word; likely 'views'. 'Everywhere is very green and glittering' is acceptable but 'glittering' with 'pagoda' needs plural agreement. 'Green lawn' should be plural 'green lawns' if referring generally. 'Glittering pagoda' should be 'glittering pagodas' to match plural idea or 'a glittering pagoda' if singular. Tense and subject-verb agreement: 'which made the town' should be 'which make the town' because 'lawns and pagodas' (plural) make the town peaceful. Removed repeated fragment 'my hometown was My hometown'.

× I love the atmospheres of peaceful environments from the uh, rural area, especially the countryside is scant, make me feel uh slow down and the pace of life there is very slow.

✓ I love the atmosphere of peaceful environments in rural areas; especially the countryside makes me feel relaxed and the pace of life there is very slow.

'Atmospheres' should be singular 'atmosphere' when referring to the general feeling. 'The countryside is scant, make me feel' has subject-verb agreement issues: 'the countryside ... makes me feel' (singular subject 'countryside' requires 'makes'). Also 'scant' is incorrect word choice; use 'calming' or 'peaceful'. 'Make me feel slow down' is ungrammatical; use 'helps me slow down' or 'makes me feel relaxed'.