Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more direct and coherent: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons with linking words. Avoid repetition and unclear words. Focus on simple accurate sentences (max 4–5).

예시: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views because it helps me remember places. For example, I like photographing mountains and city skylines to capture the atmosphere. Also, changing angles and lighting often makes a scene more interesting.

제안: Give a clear preference as your topic sentence, then support it with specific reasons and an example. Use linking words (because, for example, and) and avoid filler sounds. Keep it concise.

예시: I prefer rural views because they are peaceful and full of natural beauty. For example, I enjoy photographing rivers and villages where I can capture traditional houses and calm scenery. In contrast, cities can be crowded and noisy, so I visit them less often for photos.

제안: State a clear preference, then give specific reasons and one concrete example or comparison. Use linking words to organize ideas and avoid repeating words. Keep sentences simple and grammatical.

예시: I prefer views in my own country because I feel a strong connection to local culture and architecture. For example, Vietnamese villages have unique wooden houses and lively markets that I know well and enjoy photographing. However, I also like visiting other countries to see different styles and landscapes.

× I like it. I like it different view is a good is a good question.

✓ I like taking pictures of different views; that is a good question.

The original has run-on fragments and repeated phrases making it unclear. This is a sentence structure error. Combine ideas into a single coherent sentence and remove repetition. Use a semicolon or conjunction to link related clauses and correct word order ('different view' -> 'different views').

× I think the fixer is Amazon is with view view is different.

✓ I think the scenery is different in each place.

The original contains unclear, repeated words and incorrect word choice ('fixer', 'Amazon' do not fit). This is a sentence structure error. Use clear subject and verb and choose the appropriate noun ('scenery').

× The camera man is a pixel is a bot is a good fit is a okay.

✓ A camera with good pixels is a good choice.

Multiple unrelated nouns and repeated 'is' make this ungrammatical. This is a sentence structure error. Simplify to a clear noun phrase: 'a camera with good pixels' and a single predicate.

× I like it rivers uh, please, please this is the beautiful village.

✓ I like rivers, and I also like beautiful villages.

The original mixes words and filler sounds with no clear structure. This is a sentence structure error. Remove fillers, separate ideas with a conjunction, and pluralize nouns where appropriate.

× It's different. It's it's this is a town town city is beautiful.

✓ They are different. This town or city is beautiful.

Repetition and incorrect pronoun reference create confusion. This is a sentence structure error. Use correct pronouns ('they' for plural 'views') and avoid repeated words; choose either 'town' or 'city' as appropriate.

× It's architects. I like it architects beautiful pics pics uh uh, I I went to.

✓ I like the architecture; it makes beautiful pictures. I have been to such places.

'Architects' is the wrong word; the speaker likely means 'architecture' (a noun for style) rather than 'architects' (people). This is an incorrect use of adjectives/nouns. Also remove fillers and complete the clause about visiting.

× This is my country's beautiful village.

✓ This country has beautiful villages.

Word order and possessive structure are awkward. This is a sentence structure error. Use a clearer construction: 'This country has beautiful villages' or 'My country has beautiful villages.'

× Vietnamese voxel bazaar.

✓ Vietnamese villages and bazaars are beautiful.

The phrase 'voxel' is incorrect in this context; likely 'village' or 'bazaar' was intended. This is an incorrect use of nouns/pronouns (ID 12). Use correct vocabulary and pluralize if speaking generally.

× Sunar Dao is Italy is my my country.

✓ I am from Vietnam, not Italy.

The sentence mixes place names and is not coherent. This is a sentence structure error. State country of origin clearly and avoid conflicting country names.

× I, I, I will like it, get like it.

✓ I like it.

Repetition and unnatural phrasing; this is a sentence structure error. Use one clear present-tense statement to express preference.

× National view and architects and and digital view and everything, Everything is beautiful.

✓ The national scenery, the architecture, and modern views are all beautiful.

Awkward noun phrases and repeated words make the meaning unclear. This is incorrect noun usage; replace 'architects' with 'architecture' and use parallel structure for the list. Capitalization and repetition should be corrected.