Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more grammatically accurate and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid fillers like “uh,” correct verb forms, and add one or two specific details using a linking word. For example, say you enjoy photographing particular subjects and why.

예시: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures, and I even own a dedicated camera. For example, I often photograph natural scenes because I like capturing light and color, which makes my photos more expressive.

제안: Give a clear preference or explain why you like both with accurate vocabulary and smoother linking words. Correct word choice (architecture, sunsets) and avoid repetition. Keep it to two or three short sentences.

예시: I like both urban and rural views because they offer different opportunities. For instance, urban areas provide striking architecture and street scenes, while rural areas offer peaceful sunsets and natural textures for my portfolio.

제안: Be direct and use correct grammar and vocabulary. State a clear preference, give specific examples, and use linking words to connect ideas. Avoid awkward phrases like “showable” and “very variant.”

예시: I prefer photographing views in my country, Kazakhstan, because it has diverse landscapes. For example, we have dramatic mountains, clear lakes, and wide steppes, so I can capture a range of scenes without traveling abroad.

× I always taking pictures of aesthetic moments or aesthetic stuff over there and uh, especially nature.

✓ I always take pictures of aesthetic moments or things there, especially of nature.

The original uses 'always taking' without an auxiliary verb, which is incorrect. Use the simple present 'always take' to express habitual action. Also replace vague 'aesthetic stuff over there' with 'things there' and add 'of' before 'nature' for correctness and clarity.

× Both of them are very good. So in urban areas you can take a picture of modern archeist and rural, rural areas you can take a picture of nature sunsets and both of them are very kind of sweet in my photograph portfolio.

✓ Both are very good. In urban areas you can take pictures of modern architecture, and in rural areas you can take pictures of natural sunsets; both kinds of views fit well in my photography portfolio.

Multiple issues: 'Both of them are very good' is acceptable but 'Both are very good' is more natural. 'modern archeist' is incorrect word choice and spelling; use 'modern architecture'. 'nature sunsets' should be 'natural sunsets' or 'sunsets in nature'. 'very kind of sweet' is informal and ungrammatical; replace with 'fit well'. Also make plural 'pictures' for general reference.

× My country, Kazakhstan, has a very showable nature and this is very variant nature in my country.

✓ My country, Kazakhstan, has very striking natural scenery, and the landscape is very diverse.

'a very showable nature' is nonstandard; use 'striking natural scenery'. 'this is very variant nature' is incorrect word choice and article use; use 'the landscape is very diverse'. Articles and noun forms were corrected for natural English.

× So we have a mountains, lakes and very clear nature.

✓ So we have mountains, lakes, and very clear natural environments.

The phrase 'a mountains' mixes singular article 'a' with plural 'mountains'. Remove 'a' and pluralize consistently. 'very clear nature' is awkward; 'very clear natural environments' or 'clear nature' improves clarity.

× So of course I prefer taking picture in my country more than rather than in other countries.

✓ So of course I prefer taking pictures in my country rather than in other countries.

Use plural 'pictures' for general activity. The phrase 'more than rather than' is redundant; choose 'rather than'. Keep simple present 'prefer taking' followed by plural noun.