Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Reduce hesitation and filler words, correct minor grammar, and make the answer more concise and structured. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details with linking words. Aim to stay within 2–3 sentences and avoid repetition.

예시: Yes, I enjoy photographing different views, especially sunsets and beaches, because they look aesthetically pleasing. For example, I often post beach sunsets on social media with soft music to share the mood with my friends.

제안: Answer directly with a clear reason and avoid repeating previous statements. Use a linking phrase to add one specific detail or comparison. Replace vague statements with concrete explanations.

예시: I prefer rural areas because they offer more natural scenery, such as beaches and open landscapes, which are easier to photograph. In contrast, urban areas often feel cluttered and make it harder to capture peaceful compositions.

제안: Be more concise and finish your thought clearly. Avoid excessive hesitations and complete examples. Give one specific reason why you prefer views abroad and mention a clear example with a complete sentence.

예시: I generally prefer views in other countries because traveling exposes me to more historic and diverse landscapes. For instance, when I visited Italy I photographed the Colosseum at sunset, and the historic architecture and light made my photos much more striking.

× Yes, I do like taking picture of uh, different views, especially sunset views, beach views because it is uh, aesthetically pleasing and I like posting them or showing them to my friends on social media and adding soft music.

✓ Yes, I do like taking pictures of different views, especially sunsets and beaches, because they are aesthetically pleasing and I like posting them or showing them to my friends on social media and adding soft music.

The original uses 'taking picture' which should be plural 'taking pictures' (singular/plural mismatch). 'sunset views, beach views' is repetitive; use plural nouns 'sunsets and beaches'. Pronoun 'it is aesthetically pleasing' mismatches plural subjects, so use 'they are'. Improve concision and agreement. Suggestion: Use plural forms to agree with plural activities and referents, e.g., 'taking pictures', 'they are aesthetically pleasing'.

× Umm, I prefer rural areas. Like I said previously, I love taking pictures of the beach and sunsets. Umm, urban areas are not my favorite because I can't see a beauty in them.

✓ Umm, I prefer rural areas. As I said earlier, I love taking pictures of beaches and sunsets. Umm, urban areas are not my favorite because I can't see the beauty in them.

'Like I said previously' is conversational but 'As I said earlier' is more natural (tense/usage). 'taking pictures of the beach and sunsets' mixes singular/plural; use 'beaches and sunsets'. The phrase 'I can't see a beauty in them' is unidiomatic; use 'I can't see the beauty in them'. Suggestion: Keep consistent plural nouns and use natural collocations like 'see the beauty'.

× I love, I uh, don't have anything against the views in our country, but I do have a preference for views in other countries, umm, especially in Italy, umm, I have taken many pictures there, whether it is umm, of the Colosseum of.

✓ I don't have anything against the views in our country, but I prefer the views in other countries, especially in Italy; I have taken many pictures there, including of the Colosseum.

The original ends with 'whether it is umm, of the Colosseum of' which is ungrammatical and awkward. Use 'including of the Colosseum' or 'including the Colosseum'. 'I have taken many pictures' is present perfect and correct for past experiences; keep that tense. Also remove redundant 'I love, I uh'. Suggestion: Use 'including' to introduce examples and correct word order: 'including the Colosseum' or 'including pictures of the Colosseum'.