Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be clearer, more natural, and avoid incorrect or confusing words (e.g., “Photoshop” here seems wrong). Start with a direct topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Keep it under five sentences and avoid filler like “so I do that.”

예시: Yes, I enjoy photographing different views, especially mountain landscapes. I particularly like snow‑capped peaks because the contrast between the white snow and dark rocks creates dramatic images. Also, I often shoot at sunrise or sunset to capture warm light and interesting shadows.

제안: Good clear preference and reasons, but the response is slightly wordy and has repetitions. Use linking words to connect ideas and give one concrete example to be more specific. Reduce redundancy (e.g., avoid repeating “areas”).

예시: I prefer rural views because they are less crowded and offer more unspoiled natural scenery. For example, fields and rivers provide open views without tall buildings blocking the shot, so I can compose wider landscape photos more easily.

제안: Be concise and avoid hesitations and unclear phrases (e.g., “So uh,” “howsoever,” “the system”). Give a clear reason and one supporting detail; then briefly acknowledge openness to travel. Use linking words like ‘however’ or ‘although’.

예시: I prefer views in my own country because it offers a wide variety of landscapes, from mountains to coastlines. However, I would gladly travel abroad sometimes to photograph different cultures and architectural styles, which would broaden my portfolio.

× Mostly I prefer mountains and especially if the mountains are snow clad then it gives me a wonderful Photoshop so I do that.

✓ Mostly I prefer mountains, and especially if the mountains are snow-clad, they give me a wonderful photo, so I take pictures of them.

The original sentence misuses 'Photoshop' (a program) and has awkward structure. 'Snow clad' should be hyphenated as 'snow-clad' when used as an adjective. 'It gives me a wonderful Photoshop' mixes noun meanings; replace with 'they give me a wonderful photo'. Also 'so I do that' is vague; use 'so I take pictures of them'. Maintain present simple for habitual preference. Grammar problem type ID:10

× I prefer views in the rural areas as it is less crowded than the urban areas.

✓ I prefer views in rural areas because they are less crowded than urban areas.

Use 'in rural areas' (no definite article) and 'because' is more natural than 'as' for cause. 'It is less crowded' incorrectly uses singular pronoun for plural noun; use 'they are less crowded'. Removing 'the' before 'urban areas' generalizes the category. Grammar problem type ID:11

× Mostly there is a lot of obstruction while photographing the urban areas and also the rural areas have less of the buildings and more of the nature so there are more scenic beauty that can be captured.

✓ Often there are many obstructions when photographing urban areas, and rural areas have fewer buildings and more natural scenery, so there is more scenic beauty to capture.

Use plural agreement: 'there are many obstructions' rather than 'there is a lot of obstruction'. 'Less of the buildings' should be 'fewer buildings' (countable). 'More of the nature' should be 'more natural scenery'. 'More scenic beauty that can be captured' is awkward; use 'more scenic beauty to capture'. Adjust articles and word choices for natural English. Grammar problem type ID:22

× I prefer views in my country because I feel like it is full of a lot of variations and variety.

✓ I prefer views in my country because I feel it is full of variations and variety.

'Omit 'like' after 'feel' when stating an opinion: 'I feel it is...'. 'A lot of variations and variety' is redundant; 'full of variations and variety' or simply 'full of variety' is better. Keep present simple tense for preference. Grammar problem type ID:11

× So uh, moreover. But howsoever, I'm open to going to some other country also and exploring the culture other way, the system and everything.

✓ However, I'm also open to going to other countries and exploring their culture, systems, and everything else.

The original uses multiple contradictory discourse markers ('So', 'moreover', 'But howsoever') and filler words. Use a single clear connector 'However' or 'Also'. 'Some other country also' is awkward; use 'other countries' or 'another country'. 'Exploring the culture other way, the system and everything' is ungrammatical; use 'exploring their culture, systems, and everything else'. Match plural forms and possessives appropriately. Grammar problem type ID:16