Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more fluent and complete your sentences. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid filler sounds (umm) and incomplete clauses. For example, say why you prefer nature (colors, tranquility, variety) and give a short example.

예시: Yes, I do. I prefer taking pictures of nature rather than cities because natural scenes have richer colors and a calmer atmosphere. For instance, I enjoy photographing forests and lakes at sunrise because the light and reflections make the photos more dramatic.

제안: Give a clear topic sentence and follow with specific reasons using linking words. Avoid awkward phrases and hesitations. Mention concrete contrasts (noise vs. quiet, crowded vs. open) to support your preference.

예시: I prefer rural areas because they are much quieter and less crowded than cities. Also, the open landscapes and fresh air make outdoor photography and walks more enjoyable, whereas urban areas often feel noisy and cramped.

제안: Make a direct response and give clear, specific examples. Avoid long hesitations and irrelevant words. If you mean there are beautiful places both at home and abroad, say so and provide one or two examples (names of places or types of views) and a reason for your preference.

예시: I like views both in my own country and in other countries, but if I had to choose I would prefer visiting other countries for variety. For example, I enjoy seeing coastal cliffs in Scotland and traditional temples in Japan because they offer landscapes and cultures I can’t find at home.

× Specifically my choice would be take pictures of nature more than cities because.

✓ Specifically, I would choose taking pictures of nature more than of cities.

The original sentence uses 'would be take' which incorrectly mixes modal + be + base verb. This is a verb form error falling under present participle use: after 'choose' or when expressing preference with 'would choose' you should use the -ing form for the action: 'choose taking' or better 'I would choose to take'. Here 'I would choose taking pictures of nature more than of cities' or 'I would choose to take pictures of nature rather than cities' are correct. Also add a comma after 'Specifically' and include 'of' before 'cities' for parallel structure.

× I prefer rural areas because I already believe in Urban Air, urban area which is a very noisy and. I would say dull.

✓ I prefer rural areas because I believe urban areas are very noisy and, I would say, dull.

The original has fragmented and disfluent structure ('I already believe in Urban Air, urban area which is a very noisy and.') and incorrect capitalization and article usage. This is a sentence structure error: combine clauses properly and use plural 'urban areas' to match general meaning. Remove unnecessary words like 'already' unless intended. Place commas around 'I would say' for natural parenthetical insertion.

× Although there is umm, very beautiful, uh, sites in thank you stand here, umm, such as, umm, tomatoes and.

✓ Although there are very beautiful sites in my country, such as historic towns and natural parks, I prefer rural areas elsewhere too.

The original is fragmented, contains filler words and nonsensical fragments ('thank you stand here', 'tomatoes and'). This is a sentence structure error: use 'there are' with plural 'sites' (subject-verb agreement) and replace unclear examples with coherent ones. Provide a complete contrast clause after 'although' and finish the sentence. Also avoid fillers for fluency.