Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more natural and concise, avoid filler words (umm) and incorrect phrasing. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific reason or brief example. Keep answers under five sentences and use precise vocabulary (e.g., 'soak up the moment' instead of 'suck up the moment').

예시: I don't really enjoy taking pictures of views; I prefer to soak up the moment and enjoy the experience. For example, when I visit a beautiful lake, I like to sit and appreciate the scenery instead of spending time framing photos.

제안: Organize the response with a clear topic sentence, contrasting two choices using linking words (e.g., 'however', 'on the other hand'). Remove repetitions and fillers, and complete your final thought. Give one specific detail about what you like in each place to make the answer informative.

예시: It depends on my mood. If I need energy, I prefer urban views because the busy streets and bright lights motivate me. However, if I want to relax, I choose the countryside where quiet fields and fresh air help me unwind.

제안: Avoid repeating the same answer as the previous question; directly address the contrast between domestic and foreign views. Use one clear topic sentence and one or two specific supporting details (e.g., cultural differences, scenery types). Eliminate hesitations and repetition.

예시: I don't have a strong preference between my country and others; it depends on what I want. For example, I enjoy cities abroad for their different architecture and lively culture, but I appreciate rural areas at home for their familiar landscapes and peaceful atmosphere.

× I prefer to suck up the moment and umm, enjoy the experience rather than photographing.

✓ I prefer to soak up the moment and, um, enjoy the experience rather than taking photographs.

The student used 'suck up the moment' which is incorrect collocation; correct phrase is 'soak up the moment'. Also 'photographing' is grammatically possible but 'taking photographs' sounds more natural here. Suggest using appropriate collocations and common verb+noun patterns.

× When I want to get energy, I I prefer to go to the city and then I can get umm energy from the city.

✓ When I want to get energy, I prefer to go to the city because I can get energy there.

The original has repetition ('I I') and awkward phrasing. This is a sentence structure problem (type 26) though caused by repetition and redundancy. Combine clauses and remove repeated words. Use 'there' instead of repeating 'from the city' for conciseness.

× And because umm the bustling city views make me feel motivated and on the other hand, sometimes I need some relax and chill, and then I.

✓ The bustling city views make me feel motivated; on the other hand, sometimes I need to relax and chill, and then I prefer quiet places.

Fragment and mixed connectors: 'and because' plus 'on the other hand' creates confusion and the sentence ends as a fragment ('and then I.'). This is a sentence structure error (type 26). Use a semicolon or separate sentences, use correct nouns/verbs ('need to relax' not 'need some relax'), and finish the thought.

× When I want to get energy, I go to the city and I can get an energy and the energy make me motivated awake and I like the kind of feeling.

✓ When I want to get energy, I go to the city; the energy there makes me feel motivated and awake, and I like that feeling.

Problems: unnecessary article 'an' before 'energy' and subject-verb agreement ('energy make' should be 'energy makes'), plus word order ('motivated awake' is incorrect). These are subject-verb agreement (type 27) and sentence structure errors (type 26). Remove the article, correct verb agreement, and place adjectives properly.

× On the other hand, when I want to get when I want to relax, I I prefer to countryside and I, I can get, I, I can get really.

✓ On the other hand, when I want to relax, I prefer the countryside, and I can really unwind there.

Multiple issues: repeated phrase 'when I want to', repeated 'I', incorrect article use before 'countryside' (should be 'the countryside'), and an unfinished thought. This combines article error (type 22) and sentence structure (type 26). Use 'the countryside' and complete the idea with a proper verb like 'unwind' or 'relax'.