Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Reduce repetition and make the answer more concise and structured. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details (e.g., what kinds of views you like and how photos help you). Use linking words (for example, “because” and “so”) and avoid filler words and repeated phrases.

예시: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views because they help me preserve memories. For example, I often photograph sunsets and city skylines; when I look at these photos later, they lift my mood and remind me of special moments.

제안: Answer directly and give concrete reasons with clearer vocabulary. State your preference in one sentence, then give one or two specific reasons (mention particular cultural features, landscapes, or activities). Avoid hesitation sounds and vague phrases like “etcetera.”

예시: I prefer views in rural areas because they have traditional architecture and natural landscapes. For instance, I enjoy photographing village festivals and old houses, which show local customs and feel more peaceful than busy city scenes.

제안: Be specific about what you like in your country and give one concrete example. Start with a clear statement of preference, then mention particular regional differences or famous landmarks that make your country special. Avoid repetition and incomplete sentences.

예시: I prefer views in my own country because India has diverse regional cultures and landscapes. For example, I like photographing colorful festivals in Rajasthan and the lush hills in Kerala, which offer very different and photogenic scenes.

× Yes, I do like taking pictures of different views because we not only capture views, we we capture the memories and when we we are sad or we feel low, we see them and we like have energy and we.

✓ Yes, I do like taking pictures of different views because we not only capture views, we capture memories, and when we are sad or feel low, we look at them and feel energized.

Problems: unnecessary repetition ('we we'), incorrect use of 'the memories' (article), awkward phrase 'we like have energy' and redundant 'we' before verbs. Correction removes repetitions, drops the article before 'memories' because it is uncountable/general, fixes 'we are sad or feel low' by removing extra pronoun, and replaces 'we look at them and feel energized' for natural verb phrases. Suggestion: avoid repeating words, use correct article or none for plural/uncountable nouns, and use appropriate verb forms ('look at' and 'feel energized').

× I too prefer views in rulers rural areas because the rural areas, like they are, uh, they are touch their cultures and they are very attached to their ancient cultures and uh, they, they protect their feeds and etcetera.

✓ I prefer rural views because rural areas are rich in culture; people there are very attached to their traditional cultures, and they protect their customs and traditions.

Problems: 'in rulers rural areas' is incorrect (likely 'in rural areas'), redundant filler words 'like they are, uh', wrong preposition/phrase 'touch their cultures' and incorrect word 'feeds'. Correction uses 'in rural areas' or 'rural views', replaces 'touch their cultures' with 'rich in culture', and 'protect their customs and traditions' for clarity. Suggestion: remove fillers, choose correct prepositions ('in rural areas'), and use accurate nouns ('customs', 'traditions').

× Yes, I do prefer views in my own country because I am from India and my country is like a cultural country and they have it has there, it has it's different, different culture from different regions.

✓ Yes, I prefer views in my own country because I am from India and my country is culturally diverse; it has different cultures in different regions.

Problems: unnecessary 'do' in 'I do prefer' is acceptable but wordy, incorrect pronoun 'they' referring to 'my country', mixed and redundant phrases 'it has there, it has it's', and repetition 'different, different culture'. Correction uses 'I prefer' for conciseness, replaces 'they' with 'it', and clarifies 'culturally diverse; it has different cultures in different regions.' Suggestion: ensure pronouns agree with the noun (country -> it), avoid redundant repetitions, and use concise phrasing.