Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Reduce hesitations and repetition, provide a clear topic sentence and one concise supporting detail. Use linking words and correct minor errors (e.g., remove duplicate words, choose neutral verbs). Aim for 2–3 sentences, avoid filler sounds like 'umm.'

예시: Not really. I usually prefer to put my phone away and enjoy the atmosphere, because I find that focusing on the moment helps me relax. For example, on holiday I often leave my camera in my bag and walk around to take in the scenery.

제안: Make the contrast clearer with a concise topic sentence and one specific reason for each preference. Reduce hesitations and correct grammar (e.g., 'prefer the energy' not 'prefer to to energy'). Use a linking phrase like 'however' to show contrast.

예시: It depends on my mood. I enjoy city views because of their energy and many things to do; however, I prefer the countryside when I want peace and quiet to relax.

제안: Avoid repetition and unclear words. Give a clear statement then one supporting detail for each option, using linking words such as 'on the other hand.' Correct vocabulary (e.g., 'vibrant cities') and remove stuttering.

예시: It depends on my mood. I enjoy vibrant cities in other countries for their different cultures and activities, but on the other hand I appreciate the countryside at home when I want to relax and feel comfortable.

× Honestly, I'm not really into taking pictures Pictures I prefer to umm suck up the atmosphere and and umm savor the moment.

✓ Honestly, I'm not really into taking pictures; I prefer to soak up the atmosphere and savor the moment.

The original has repeated word 'Pictures' and uses 'suck up' which is informal and likely a slip; 'soak up' is the correct verb phrase meaning to enjoy an atmosphere. Also removed duplicated 'and' and added appropriate punctuation. Use of verb+ -ing 'taking' is fine, so correction focuses on word choice and clarity.

× For example, when I'm on holiday I put on put my phone away and I just experience the atmosphere.

✓ For example, when I'm on holiday I put my phone away and just enjoy the atmosphere.

The sentence contains repeated words 'put on put' and awkward phrasing 'experience the atmosphere.' 'Put my phone away' is sufficient and 'just enjoy the atmosphere' is a more natural collocation. Simplifying the structure removes redundancy.

× Well, it depends on how I'm feeling. Umm, I sometimes I enjoy the city views, like I prefer to to energy and umm varieties of activities.

✓ Well, it depends on how I'm feeling. Sometimes I enjoy city views; I prefer the energy and variety of activities.

The original has extra filler words ('Umm', repeated 'I'), duplicated 'to to', and incorrect noun forms 'varieties of activities.' 'Energy' and 'variety' are the correct singular nouns here. Removing fillers and duplicates makes the sentence grammatically correct and natural.

× But on the other hand I prefer the countryside to relax.

✓ But on the other hand, I prefer the countryside to relax in.

The verb 'prefer' needs a complement; saying 'prefer the countryside to relax' omits the preposition 'in.' Adding 'in' completes the locative phrase and makes the sentence grammatical.

× Well it depends on my mood. Sometimes I I like a vibrant CT VS cities and a variety of activities available, but sometimes I like the countryside because I just want to relax.

✓ Well, it depends on my mood. Sometimes I like vibrant cities with a variety of activities available, but sometimes I like the countryside because I just want to relax.

The original has repeated 'I', a garbled fragment 'CT VS', and awkward word order. Replacing with 'vibrant cities with a variety of activities available' corrects word order and noun phrases. Removing duplication and fixing the fragment resolves the grammatical issues.