Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Shorten and clarify sentences, correct awkward phrasing, and avoid redundancy. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details. Use linking words for flow and correct collocations (e.g., “mesmerized by sunsets” rather than “I'm mesmerizing sunsets”).

예시: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views. I’ve loved photography since childhood, so when I see a striking scene—especially a sunset—I stop to take photos to preserve the memory and practice my framing.

제안: Be more concise and avoid repeating words (e.g., “often” twice). Use a clear comparative structure and include one specific example to support your preference. Connect ideas smoothly with linking words and fix capitalisation errors.

예시: I prefer rural views because there is more open space, wildlife and greenery, which I find calming. In contrast, urban views tend to be dominated by buildings and traffic, so I usually choose the countryside for photography.

제안: Make the response more direct and reduce repetition (“different” repeated). Give one brief reason and a short example to illustrate openness to both. Use cleaner phrasing: “either” rather than “either of them” and avoid redundant clauses.

예시: I don’t prefer one over the other; I enjoy views at home and abroad because each country offers unique landscapes and landmarks. For example, I like photographing local countryside scenes as well as famous city landmarks when I travel.

× So whenever I come across a beautiful scene I'm mesmerizing sunsets, I make sure to stop and take photos of it to preserve the memories and capture the moment.

✓ So whenever I come across a beautiful scene, mesmerized by sunsets, I make sure to stop and take photos to preserve the memories and capture the moment.

Original used 'I'm mesmerizing sunsets' which incorrectly uses active verb + -ing; the intended meaning is passive feeling 'mesmerized by sunsets'. Use 'mesmerized by' to express being fascinated. Also removed redundant 'of it' after 'photos' for concision.

× But in urban areas they are often full of buildings and are often noisy and crowded as well.

✓ In urban areas, they are often full of buildings and are noisy and crowded as well.

Starting a sentence with 'But' is stylistically acceptable but redundant here; removed capitalized 'But' and combined for flow. Also reduced repeated 'are often' to improve style. The grammar issue relates to conjunction usage and sentence flow.

× Although they might have beautiful scene here and there, But in general I prefer rural views.

✓ Although they might have beautiful scenes here and there, in general I prefer rural views.

Sentence incorrectly uses both 'Although' and 'But' together, creating conjunction redundancy. Remove 'But' and pluralize 'scene' to 'scenes' for agreement with 'here and there'.

× I prefer views from rural areas because they are often full of nature, wildlife, green spaces and the sky is very open and blue.

✓ I prefer views in rural areas because they are often full of nature, wildlife and green spaces, and the sky is very open and blue.

Use 'in rural areas' rather than 'from rural areas' when referring to views located within those areas. Also added a comma before 'and' for clarity.

× I prefer views in either of them because every country has its own nature and its own landmarks, so I'm open to explore different things and different places from different countries.

✓ I prefer views in either because every country has its own natural features and landmarks, so I'm open to exploring different things and places in different countries.

'Either of them' is awkward; 'either' alone suffices. 'Nature' used as countable here is better phrased 'natural features'. After 'open to' use noun or gerund, so change 'to explore' to 'exploring'. Also simplify 'different things and different places from different countries' to avoid repetition and use 'in different countries'.

× I don't prefer one over the other because they are different in nature and I'm open to see and take pictures of every place I can.

✓ I don't prefer one over the other because they are different in nature, and I'm open to seeing and taking pictures of every place I can.

After 'open to' use gerund forms 'seeing' and 'taking' rather than base verbs 'see' and 'take'. This fixes verb form after the prepositional phrase and ensures parallel structure.