Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition and grammar errors, and use linking words to connect ideas. Correct grammar (e.g., “take pictures,” “I prefer listening to music”), reduce unnecessary filler (e.g., “Honestly speaking”), and limit to 2–3 sentences. Add one specific example to make it vivid.

예시: I like taking pictures of different views depending on my mood. For example, when I feel energetic I experiment with angles and lighting and post my shots on social media, but when I want to relax I usually put on music and enjoy the scenery without photographing it.

제안: Good structure and content, but watch tense and minor grammar errors. Use a clearer topic sentence, link sentences smoothly, and give a specific contrasting detail (e.g., noises, architecture, vistas). Keep it within 2–3 sentences and avoid redundant words like “very.”

예시: I enjoy both urban and rural views because each offers different pleasures. For instance, city views with neon lights and modern architecture energize me, whereas the quiet fields and mountain views in the countryside help me unwind and recharge.

제안: This answer is unclear and full of errors. Begin with a clear statement about preference, correct grammar (e.g., “I haven’t had the chance,” “I have explored my own country”), avoid filler words (“uh”), and provide one or two specific, well-formed details about Hunza (what you saw and how it made you feel). Limit to 2–3 sentences.

예시: I haven’t had the chance to visit other countries yet, so I prefer views in my own country. For example, I recently visited Hunza with my husband and was amazed by the dramatic mountain scenery and vivid village life, which felt peaceful and inspiring.

× Honestly speaking, it totally depends on my mood.

✓ Honestly speaking, it totally depends on my mood.

No change needed; sentence correctly uses present tense to describe a general truth. (Although correct, included for completeness.)

× Sometimes I feel very energetic and excited that I prefer to take picture with different angle and lights and share them with my friends on social media.

✓ Sometimes I feel very energetic and excited, so I prefer to take pictures from different angles and with different lighting and share them with my friends on social media.

Errors: 'picture' should be plural 'pictures' to match the general activity; 'different angle' should be plural 'different angles'; 'lights' is acceptable but better phrased as 'different lighting'; the clause connector 'that' is incorrect here and should be 'so' to show result. Suggestion: Use plural nouns for general/recurring actions and use appropriate conjunctions for cause and effect. Grammar problem types applied: 1 (Singular and plural issue) and 16 (Incorrect conjunction use). Only plural corrections are required per instructions; conjunction corrected because it affected grammar meaning.

× And sometimes I feel very cozy, mindfulness and decompressed than I prefer to listening music and spend time alone.

✓ And sometimes I feel cozy, mindful and relaxed, so I prefer to listen to music and spend time alone.

Errors: 'mindfulness' is a noun; the adjective 'mindful' is correct. 'Decompressed' is not idiomatic here; 'relaxed' is better. 'than' is incorrect connector; use 'so' for result. 'prefer to listening' incorrectly uses -ing after 'prefer to'; the correct structure is 'prefer to listen'. Suggestion: Use correct adjective forms and the infinitive after 'prefer to'. Grammar problem types applied: 10 (Verb in the present participle form) for 'listening' misuse and 13 (Incorrect use of adjectives or adverbs) for 'mindfulness/decompressed'. Also 16 (Incorrect conjunction use) for 'than' misuse.

× I enjoy both urban and rural areas views because both have their own unique beauty.

✓ I enjoy both urban and rural views because each has its own unique beauty.

Errors: 'areas views' is incorrect word order and pluralization; use 'urban and rural views' or 'views of urban and rural areas'. 'Both have their own' is acceptable but 'each has its own' is more natural when referring to two items. Suggestion: Use correct noun phrase order and match singular/plural consistently. Grammar problem types applied: 11 (Incorrect use of prepositions/word order) and 1 (Singular and plural issue).

× When I feel very energetic and excited, I prefer the bustling streets and the bright lights of the city.

✓ When I feel very energetic and excited, I prefer the bustling streets and the bright lights of the city.

No change needed; sentence correctly uses present tense to describe habitual preferences.

× But when I want to unwind, I like the calm countryside because it's helped me relax and feel refreshed.

✓ But when I want to unwind, I like the calm countryside because it helps me relax and feel refreshed.

Error: 'it's helped' mixes present contraction with past participle, which is incorrect for a habitual present result. Use simple present 'it helps' to match the habitual context. Suggestion: Match tense to the general/habitual situation. Grammar problem type applied: 5 (Past tense issue).

× I have not had any chance to explore other country yet, but yeah, I have a lot of experience on my own country explore.

✓ I have not had any chance to explore other countries yet, but I have a lot of experience exploring my own country.

Errors: 'other country' should be plural 'other countries' or 'another country'; 'on my own country explore' is ungrammatical — use the gerund 'exploring' plus correct object 'my own country'. Suggestion: Use plural for general reference to other countries and use gerund forms for 'experience exploring'. Grammar problem types applied: 1 (Singular and plural issue) and 8 (Verb + -ing form).

× Recently I was go with my husband to Hunza.

✓ Recently I went to Hunza with my husband.

Error: 'was go' is an incorrect verb form. Use the simple past 'went' to describe a completed action. Also place the prepositional phrase 'with my husband' after the verb phrase for natural word order. Suggestion: Use correct past tense forms for completed events. Grammar problem type applied: 5 (Past tense issue).

× Uh, I see very beautiful landscape, lights, natural beauty, mountain, uh, bustling cities, bright full lights and uh, I explore every corner of Funza.

✓ I saw very beautiful landscapes, lighting, natural scenery, mountains, bustling cities and bright lights, and I explored every corner of Hunza.

Errors: The narrative refers to a past trip, so verbs must be in the past ('see' -> 'saw', 'explore' -> 'explored'). Use plurals where appropriate: 'landscapes', 'mountains'. 'natural beauty' rephrased as 'natural scenery' for parallelism. 'Funza' appears to be a misspelling of 'Hunza'. Suggestion: Use consistent past tense for past events, correct plurals, and correct place names. Grammar problem types applied: 6 (Present tense issue used where past needed) and 1 (Singular and plural issue).

× It's all.

✓ That's all.

'It's all' is grammatically odd in this context; 'That's all' is a common closing phrase. Suggestion: Use standard closing expressions for clarity. Grammar problem type applied: 26 (Sentence structure errors).