Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Cải thiện ngữ pháp và phát âm, loại bỏ từ thừa và sửa lại cấu trúc câu để rõ ràng hơn. Cụ thể: 1) Loại bỏ lặp từ (“really, really”) hoặc hạn chế dùng; 2) Sửa thì và cấu trúc (“want to take notes of the places I have visited”); 3) Thêm một câu hỗ trợ ngắn sử dụng liên từ để câu mạch lạc hơn; 4) Giữ giới hạn 3–4 câu, tránh nói dài dòng.

예시: Yes, I do. I love taking photos of different views when I travel because they help me remember the places I visit. Moreover, I find photography calming and it helps me relax after a busy day.

제안: Sửa từ vựng sai và cấu trúc so sánh; tránh dùng từ không phù hợp (“harassed buildings”, “Model 1”). Cụ thể: 1) Dùng cấu trúc so sánh chuẩn (“prefer rural views to urban ones”); 2) Thay những từ sai bằng từ phù hợp (“crowded buildings”); 3) Nêu lý do rõ ràng với liên từ (“because”, “and”), hoàn chỉnh câu kết.

예시: I prefer rural views to urban ones because I don't like crowded buildings. Also, nature feels more peaceful to me, so I enjoy the quiet countryside more than noisy city streets.

제안: Cải thiện tính mạch lạc và diễn đạt để tránh ý không rõ; sửa ngữ pháp và cụm từ lỗi. Cụ thể: 1) Tránh dùng những cụm mơ hồ (“spirit of our shoulder that sacrificed”); 2) Thể hiện ý tôn kính/ lịch sử ngắn gọn và rõ ràng (“reminds us of the sacrifices made during the war”); 3) Dùng liên từ để nối ý và rút gọn câu; 4) Tránh tiếng ồn ngôn ngữ (uh, well) quá nhiều.

예시: I prefer views in my own country. Vietnamese landscapes are diverse, and many sites remind people of the sacrifices made during the war, which gives them deeper meaning. As a result, these views make me feel peaceful and proud.

× Well, actually, yes, I really, really love taking photos with various views when I'm traveling.

✓ Well, actually, yes, I really, really love taking photos of various views when I'm traveling.

Use 'photos of' rather than 'photos with' to indicate the subject of the photograph. 'Photos with' can imply including something else (e.g., 'photos with people'). Suggestion: Say 'take photos of' to describe photographing scenery.

× It's simply because I want to to take notes or the place that I have visit that and with that I can feel calm and stay.

✓ It's simply because I want to take notes of the places I have visited, and that helps me feel calm and relaxed.

Multiple errors: repeated 'to', incorrect use of 'take notes or the place', wrong tense 'have visit', and awkward ending 'can feel calm and stay'. Correct by using 'take notes of' to record places, past participle 'visited' for present perfect, and 'feel calm and relaxed' for natural phrasing. Suggestion: Use concise clauses: 'I want to take notes of the places I have visited, and that helps me feel calm and relaxed.'

× Well, I think I prefer the rural views than the Model 1, simply because I don't really like the harassed buildings and on the other hand, the nature is closer to me than the the technology.

✓ Well, I think I prefer rural views to urban ones, simply because I don't really like crowded buildings and, on the other hand, nature feels closer to me than technology.

Use 'prefer A to B' rather than 'prefer A than B'. 'Model 1' is unclear; use 'urban ones'. 'Harassed buildings' is incorrect; the intended word is 'crowded' or 'congested'. Remove duplicate 'the'. Suggestion: Use 'prefer X to Y' and choose appropriate adjectives like 'crowded'.

× Therefore I think rural area has a better.

✓ Therefore I think rural areas are better.

Incomplete comparison 'has a better' lacks an object and incorrect singular/plural. Use full clause 'rural areas are better' to express general preference. Suggestion: Complete the sentence with a comparative clause, e.g., 'rural areas are better'.

× Absolutely view in my country, Well, you know, the view in my country is not just various, but also is the spirit of our shoulder that sacrificed in during world.

✓ Absolutely, views in my country are my favorite. The scenery is not only varied but also reflects the spirit of our ancestors who sacrificed during the war.

Multiple issues: 'view' should be plural 'views'; awkward 'not just various' -> 'not only varied'; 'spirit of our shoulder' incorrect—should be 'spirit of our ancestors' or 'people'; 'sacrificed in during world' incorrect word order and missing 'war'. Suggestion: Use plural 'views', 'not only... but also...', and correct nouns 'ancestors'/'people' and 'during the war'.

× Therefore, I think the view in Vietnam has uh, so in it and make people feel calm and stay relaxed.

✓ Therefore, I think the views in Vietnam have a unique quality that makes people feel calm and relaxed.

Awkward phrase 'has uh, so in it' is unclear. Subject-verb agreement: 'view...has' vs plural 'views...have'. Use 'unique quality that makes people feel calm and relaxed' to convey the meaning clearly. Suggestion: Replace vague fillers with clear nouns and use proper agreement: 'views...have' and 'makes people feel calm and relaxed'.