Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and avoid filler words (umm, like). Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons with linking words. Use more natural phrasing (e.g., “I love taking photos of views because…”). Limit to 3–4 sentences and include a specific example to make your answer more vivid.

예시: I love taking photos of different views because they help me remember places I visit. For example, when I traveled to the coast last year I photographed the sunrise, which reminds me of that peaceful morning. I also sometimes post my best shots online to share the experience with friends.

제안: Give a direct answer first, then support it with clear reasons and a brief example. Reduce repetition and hesitations. Use linking words (however, because) to structure your response and be specific about what you like in rural areas (e.g., quiet, open spaces). Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

예시: I prefer rural views because I enjoy quiet landscapes and open spaces. For instance, in Adelaide I often walk in nearby parks where there are fields and native plants, which feels relaxing compared with busy city streets. However, I still appreciate urban views for their architecture.

제안: Answer directly and avoid vague phrases. Explain why you prefer views in other countries with concrete comparisons (e.g., cleaner air, more open space, distinctive landmarks). Use linking words (because, whereas) and avoid filler words. Limit to 3–4 clear sentences and give one specific example of a landmark or scene you like.

예시: At the moment I prefer views in other countries because places like Adelaide have cleaner air and more open space. For example, I enjoy the views around Adelaide Botanic Garden and the coastline, which feel peaceful and scenic, whereas my hometown in Vietnam was often noisy and crowded.

× Umm, I'm really in love in taking pictures of the views because like, umm, when I go to a new place, I'd love to capture the memory and save it in my camera roll so that maybe I can use them for, umm, posting and flexing on the Internet.

✓ Umm, I'm really in love with taking pictures of views because, when I go to a new place, I'd love to capture the memories and save them in my camera roll so that maybe I can use them for posting and showing on the Internet.

Error: incorrect preposition 'in' after 'in love' and inconsistent use of singular/plural and pronouns. 'In love in' should be 'in love with' (preposition choice). 'Pictures of the views' is better as 'pictures of views' (article use). 'Capture the memory' should be plural 'capture the memories' to match 'them' later. 'Save it in my camera roll' should be 'save them in my camera roll' to agree with plural 'pictures'. Suggestion: use 'in love with', match singular/plural nouns and pronouns, and use 'showing' or 'posting' rather than 'flexing' for more natural phrasing.

× Uh, otherwise I can use them for just keeping my memory.

✓ Otherwise I can just keep them as memories.

Error: awkward preposition and word order 'use them for just keeping my memory'. 'Keep' is the correct verb and 'memories' plural matches 'them'. Suggestion: use 'keep them as memories' or 'keep them in my memory' depending on intended meaning.

× It's hard to say 'cause I'm, I used to live in the, in the urban area back in Vietnam, I lived in the capital of Vietnam, but now I moved to Adelaide, which is, I feel like it's half, half, like half them are urban and half of them are rural areas.

✓ It's hard to say because I used to live in an urban area back in Vietnam; I lived in the capital, but now I have moved to Adelaide, which I feel is partly urban and partly rural.

Errors: sentence fragments, inappropriate filler words, wrong article 'the urban area' vs 'an urban area', tense/tense consistency 'now I moved' should be present perfect 'now I have moved' or 'now I live', and incorrect pronoun 'half them' should be 'partly' or 'half are'. Suggestion: remove fillers, use correct articles, keep tense consistent, and use 'partly urban and partly rural' for clarity.

× So it's hard to say, but I think I'm used to the rural areas.

✓ So it's hard to say, but I think I'm used to rural areas.

Error: unnecessary definite article 'the' before 'rural areas' when speaking generally. Suggestion: omit 'the' for general plural nouns.

× For now, I'd say I opted for the place in another country 'cause I'm living in Adelaide, South Australia, Umm, which has spectacular view with open space and beautiful landmarks.

✓ For now, I'd say I prefer a place in another country because I'm living in Adelaide, South Australia, which has spectacular views with open spaces and beautiful landmarks.

Errors: 'I'd say I opted for' misuses tense/modal—'opted' (past) conflicts with present preference; use 'prefer' or 'would choose'. 'Which has spectacular view' needs plural 'views' and 'open spaces'. Also 'cause' should be 'because' in formal speech. Suggestion: use present tense for current preference and correct noun plurals.

× Umm, compared to Vietnam, where I used to live, it's quite umm pop, it's quite noisy and then it's quite polluted for now.

✓ Compared to Vietnam, where I used to live, it's quite crowded; it's noisy and somewhat polluted at the moment.

Errors: 'pop' is informal/incorrect word choice for 'crowded' or 'popular'; repetition with 'it's quite' awkward; 'for now' better as 'at the moment'. Suggestion: use appropriate vocabulary ('crowded') and smoother connectors, and keep tense/time expressions consistent.