Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and structured: start with a clear topic sentence (Yes, I enjoy it), then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid filler words (uh) and repetitions. Mention particular examples (e.g., sunsets, forests) and why they matter (memories, colors). Keep it within 2–4 sentences.

예시: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views. For example, I like photographing sunsets and forests because the colors change with the seasons, creating unique moods. This helps me keep memories of places I visit and improves my composition skills.

제안: Answer directly then give a clear reason with one supporting detail. Remove hesitations and use precise vocabulary (skyscrapers, architecture). Use a linking word to connect the reason. Keep to 2–3 sentences.

예시: I prefer views in urban areas because the skyline and skyscrapers offer striking shapes and textures. For instance, photographing modern architecture at sunrise reveals interesting light and shadow contrasts that highlight human creativity.

제안: Start with a direct statement, then give specific reasons and an example. Reduce repetition and avoid filler words. Use linking words like 'because' and 'for example' and be specific about what you capture (architecture, street life, traditions). Limit to 2–4 sentences.

예시: I prefer views in other countries because they offer different architectural styles and cultural scenes. For example, photographing historic streets in Europe or colorful markets in Asia lets me capture local history and everyday life, which feels exciting and educational.

× Yes, I love taking pictures of views and nature because in nature in summer winter, in different seasons, we can capture beautiful sceneries and views in the uh, nature in the city or outside of the city and you can met.

✓ Yes, I love taking pictures of views and nature because in summer and winter, and in different seasons, we can capture beautiful scenery in nature, whether in the city or outside it.

The original sentence has run-on structure, repetition, and incorrect word choice ('sceneries' should be 'scenery' as an uncountable noun; 'you can met' is incorrect). Break the idea into clearer clauses and use 'in summer and winter' or 'in different seasons' joined by 'and'. Use 'whether' to show alternatives and 'outside it' to avoid repeating 'of the city'. Suggestion: Separate ideas with conjunctions or punctuation, use uncountable nouns correctly, and avoid unnecessary repetition.

× I prefer taking picture in urban areas because in urban areas there are many, uh, high buildings, sky towers, and I think these artificial, uh, sceneries, uh, show how human can make the world.

✓ I prefer taking pictures in urban areas because there are many tall buildings and skyscrapers, and I think these artificial scenes show what humans can create.

Errors: 'taking picture' should be plural 'taking pictures'; 'high buildings' is better as 'tall buildings'; 'sky towers' is nonstandard—use 'skyscrapers'; 'sceneries' should be 'scenes' or 'scenery'; 'how human can make the world' is incorrect pronoun and verb choice. Use 'humans' (or 'people') and 'what humans can create' for a natural expression. Suggestion: Use correct plural forms and common collocations (tall buildings, skyscrapers, scenes), and match subject plurality with nouns.

× Uh, I really prefer views in, in, in other countries because there are new and taking photos from those buildings are a new experience for me that can capture actually the history of that country and their people and their culture and their architecture.

✓ I really prefer views in other countries because they are new to me, and taking photos of those buildings is a new experience that can actually capture the history, people, culture, and architecture of a country.

The original sentence is disfluent with repetition and incorrect clause structure: 'there are new' is incomplete, 'taking photos from those buildings' should be 'taking photos of those buildings', and the relative clause 'that can capture actually the history of that country and their people and their culture and their architecture' is awkward and mixes singular/plural references. Rephrase to 'they are new to me' and 'taking photos of those buildings is a new experience' and list the elements concisely, ensuring agreement (history, people, culture, architecture). Suggestion: Remove filler words, use 'of' with 'photos', ensure subject-verb agreement, and order listed items naturally.