Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct basic grammar (e.g., “take pictures,” “keep memories,” avoid redundant phrases). Limit to 3–4 sentences. For example, say you enjoy photographing landscapes and people when traveling and explain why (memories, unique scenes).

예시: I enjoy taking pictures of different views, especially when I travel abroad. For example, I like photographing landscapes and local people to keep memories of the trip. Also, the scenery in other countries often feels more exciting and different from what I see at home.

제안: Clarify your preference and give specific reasons with linking words. Decide whether you prefer urban or rural and express it clearly. Fix grammar (use articles and correct adjectives) and avoid contradictory phrases. Keep it within 2–4 sentences.

예시: I prefer urban views because I enjoy the energy and variety in cities. For instance, cities offer interesting architecture, busy streets, and different cultural scenes, which I find inspiring. However, I sometimes appreciate rural scenery for its peace and natural beauty.

제안: Give a clear topic sentence stating your preference, then support it with specific reasons and one example. Improve grammar and phrasing (e.g., “my country feels familiar,” “I prefer other countries because I want new experiences”). Use linking words like 'because' or 'for example.' Keep it concise (3 sentences).

예시: I prefer views in other countries because they feel new and exciting to me. For example, seeing unfamiliar architecture and landscapes helps me learn about different cultures and creates lasting memories. In contrast, my home country feels familiar since I have lived there my whole life.

× I like taking up pictures especially when I go to another country.

✓ I like taking pictures, especially when I go to another country.

The phrasal verb 'take up pictures' is incorrect here; English uses 'take pictures' or 'take photos'. Remove 'up'. Also add a comma before 'especially' for clarity.

× I want to take a picture to keep my face and also I like the landscape so I like taking a picture.

✓ I want to take pictures to remember my face, and I also like landscapes, so I enjoy taking photos.

Use plural 'pictures' and 'landscapes' to match general preferences. 'To keep my face' is unnatural; 'to remember my face' or 'to remember myself' is better. Use consistent vocabulary ('photos') and conjunctions for fluency.

× I'm not city girl so I like urban areas because not most areas but I think almost most city is more plain and awesome so I like the urban areas.

✓ I'm not a city girl, but I prefer urban areas because many cities are more exciting and interesting, so I like urban areas.

Missing article 'a' before 'city girl'. The original had confusing negatives ('not most areas' and 'almost most city'); replace with clearer expression 'many cities'. 'Plain and awesome' is contradictory; choose appropriate adjectives ('exciting' and 'interesting'). Use commas and conjunctions correctly.

× My perspective, I like the other countries because my country is so normal, because I am living there for the my whole life.

✓ From my perspective, I prefer other countries because my country feels ordinary; I have been living there my whole life.

Use 'From my perspective' for natural phrasing. Do not use 'the' before 'my whole life'. Use present perfect continuous or present perfect 'have been living' to indicate duration up to now. 'Prefer other countries' is more natural than 'like the other countries'.

× So I want to go, I want to see the new one, so I prefer the other countries.

✓ So I want to travel and see new places; therefore, I prefer other countries.

The original repeats 'I want to' and uses 'the new one' awkwardly. Combine ideas to improve flow: 'travel and see new places'. Replace 'so' with 'therefore' or rearrange to avoid repetition.