Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Make the answer more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Avoid unclear phrases like "commemorate the behind" and redundant words. Use linking words for cohesion.

예시: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views because photos help me remember special places. For example, I often photograph coastal sunsets and mountain trails so I can look back at the memories later.

제안: Give a direct topic sentence and concrete reasons with clearer vocabulary and grammar. Replace vague words like "primitive" and "will" with precise adjectives, and use a linking word to contrast urban and rural views.

예시: I prefer views in rural areas because I enjoy peaceful, natural landscapes such as fields and forests. In contrast, urban views feel busier and more modern, which I find less relaxing.

제안: Respond with a full sentence and avoid repetition and hesitations. Provide one specific reason and a brief example to support your preference. Use a linking phrase to show purpose (e.g., "so that").

예시: I prefer views in other countries because I want to experience different landscapes and cultures so that I can broaden my horizons. For instance, visiting coastal villages abroad lets me see architectural styles and natural scenery I don't have at home.

× Yes I do, because taking pictures can help me recall and record different sceneries and landscapes.

✓ Yes, I do, because taking pictures can help me recall and record different scenes and landscapes.

'Sceneries' is uncommon and uncountable in this sense; use 'scenes' or 'scenery'. Also add missing comma after 'Yes'. Use 'scenes' for different view locations and 'landscapes' is fine. This fixes word choice, not verb form, but follows natural English usage.

× And I'm a nostalgic person so I like using cameras to commemorate the behind.

✓ And I'm a nostalgic person, so I like using cameras to commemorate the past.

'Commemorate the behind' is incorrect collocation. English uses 'commemorate the past' or 'commemorate memories'. Add a comma before 'so' joining independent clauses. Replace 'behind' with 'the past' to convey intended meaning.

× I prefer use in rural areas because I like primitive and beautiful natural atmosphere and for urban areas I think is a more busy and modern will.

✓ I prefer rural areas because I like the simple and beautiful natural atmosphere; I think urban areas are busier and more modern.

Original sentence has incorrect verb structure ('prefer use in'), missing articles, awkward adjective order, and incorrect clause structure ('I think is a more busy and modern will'). Corrected version uses 'prefer rural areas', adds 'the' before 'natural atmosphere', replaces 'primitive' with 'simple' (more natural collocation), and fixes subject-verb agreement in second clause: 'urban areas are busier and more modern.' Use a semicolon or separate sentences to join related ideas.

× Preferred views in other countries because I want want to experience different scenery uh from my home.

✓ I prefer views in other countries because I want to experience different scenery from my home.

Use present tense 'I prefer' to match ongoing preference; 'Preferred' is past and incorrect here. Remove the duplicated 'want want' and filler 'uh'. 'Scenery' is uncountable and fits without article. This aligns tense and fixes repetition and filler words.

× To broaden my horizon.

✓ This is to broaden my horizons.

Original is a sentence fragment lacking a subject and verb. Turn it into a complete phrase connected to previous sentence or make it 'This is to broaden my horizons.' Use plural 'horizons' as the idiomatic expression. Alternatively, attach it to previous sentence with a comma.