Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct minor grammar issues; start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid redundancies (e.g., 'drawing, photographing' — choose one) and correct article and phrasing errors ('the seas' → 'the sea' or 'seas').

예시: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views. For example, I often photograph natural landscapes such as mountains and the sea because their colors and textures help me relax. Also, I like candid shots of my family and friends because they capture genuine emotions.

제안: Provide a crisp topic sentence and one clear reason with linking words; correct repetition and article usage, and avoid vague phrases. Use precise vocabulary like 'architecture' or 'street life' and limit to 2–3 sentences.

예시: I prefer views in urban areas. This is because I enjoy the architecture and busy street life, where tall buildings, pedestrians and cafés create a lively atmosphere.

제안: Begin with a direct, natural statement and avoid informal or awkward phrasing ('more crazy about', 'I am fascinating about'). Use linking words to give reasons and a specific example. Remove filler sounds like 'uh' and correct grammar ('fascinated by', 'rather than seeing').

예시: I prefer views in other countries. For instance, I am fascinated by Italy's architecture and history, which feel more varied and inspiring compared with the familiar scenes I see at home.

× I am drawing, photographing different views, especially those natural landscapes such as mountains, the seas, the rivers.

✓ I draw and photograph different views, especially natural landscapes such as mountains, seas, and rivers.

The original uses 'I am drawing, photographing' which is an odd mixture of present continuous and gerund forms for habitual actions. Use simple present 'I draw and photograph' to describe regular hobbies. Also remove 'those' before 'natural landscapes' and use plural nouns without 'the' when speaking generally; add commas appropriately.

× Those seem relaxing to me.

✓ They seem relaxing to me.

Using 'Those' to refer to 'views' is acceptable but 'They' is more natural when referring back to plural noun 'views'. This is a pronoun choice that affects register; also confirmed as adjective/adverb usage since 'relaxing' is correct but pronoun should be 'They'.

× I also like taking shots of my family and friends and those photos capture the real emotions.

✓ I also like taking shots of my family and friends because those photos capture real emotions.

The original is a run-on lacking a clear connection between clauses. Adding 'because' clarifies the reason and removing 'the' before 'real emotions' makes the phrase more natural. This fixes sentence structure and article usage.

× I like views in urban areas more.

✓ I prefer views in urban areas.

Saying 'I like views in urban areas more' is understandable but awkward; 'prefer' is a more natural verb for comparing choices. Alternatively, 'I like urban views more than rural ones' would explicitly compare. Use of preposition 'in' is acceptable but restructuring improves clarity.

× I find myself interested in looking at the tall buildings, the pedestrians and the the city structures more and I just think there's always things happening in urban.

✓ I find myself interested in looking at tall buildings, pedestrians, and city structures, and I just think there are always things happening in cities.

Issues corrected: remove duplicate 'the the'; unnecessary 'the' before general plural nouns; change 'there's always things' to 'there are always things' to match plural subject (subject-verb agreement). Also 'in urban' is ungrammatical; use 'in cities'.

× I find myself more crazy about the views in other countries such as Italy.

✓ I am more crazy about the views in other countries, such as Italy.

'Find myself more crazy' is awkward; 'am more crazy about' or better 'am more enthusiastic about' fits present state. Use commas around 'such as Italy'. Consider 'I am more enthusiastic about views in other countries, such as Italy.' for more natural phrasing.

× I am fascinating about the architecture, the history, uh there and rather than seeing the same view in my country every day.

✓ I am fascinated by the architecture and history there, and I prefer that to seeing the same views in my country every day.

'I am fascinating about' is incorrect; the correct passive adjective is 'fascinated by'. Use 'there' after 'history' and connect the contrast with 'and I prefer that to...'. Also change 'the same view' to 'the same views' for generality and agreement.