Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Improve clarity, grammar, and word choice. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid fillers (uh), correct nouns and verbs (viewers → views, appreciated → appreciate/the beauty/future is unclear), and keep sentences concise (max 5). Add one specific example with a linking word. Focus on accurate vocabulary (landscapes, cityscapes).

예시: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views because they help me capture memorable moments and the beauty around me. For example, when I travel I photograph coastal landscapes and historic cityscapes to share with friends and to remember the unique atmosphere of each place.

제안: Be precise with vocabulary and place names, avoid repetition and fillers, and link reason and example clearly. Use correct collocations (prefer rural areas, not rivers). Limit to a clear topic sentence, one reason with linking word, and one specific, correctly named example or description. Ensure proper grammar (inspire → inspire(s) me).

예시: I prefer rural areas because their open landscapes and greenery feel peaceful and refreshing, which helps me relax after a busy week in the city. For example, nearby St. Fielders Hills inspires me to go for long walks and take landscape photographs.

제안: Clarify the main point and correct many errors: use the correct pronoun and phrasing (I prefer views in other countries), avoid wrong words (reviews → views, fair → varied/striking, scandals → scenes/cultures), and give a coherent example. Keep to one or two sentences: state preference, give reason, and a specific example with accurate place names. Use linking words for coherence.

예시: I prefer views in other countries because their landscapes and cultures are often very different from those at home. For example, the dramatic coastal cliffs in Ireland and the alpine scenery in Switzerland give me new perspectives and inspire different photo compositions.

× Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different viewers because it helps me, uh, capture, uh, memorable moments and and appreciated the future around me.

✓ Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views because it helps me capture memorable moments and appreciate the features around me.

The student used 'viewers' (people who view) instead of 'views' (scenes) and wrote 'appreciated' (past participle) instead of the base verb 'appreciate' to match present tense. Also 'future' is incorrect in context; 'features' or 'scenery' fits. Remove the duplicated 'and' and filler words for clarity. Suggestion: choose the correct noun (view/views), use the base verb after 'helps me' (helps me appreciate), and proofread for duplicated words.

× For example, when I travel, I photograph landscapers and cityscapes to share with friends and to remember the atmosphere of each place.

✓ For example, when I travel, I photograph landscapes and cityscapes to share with friends and to remember the atmosphere of each place.

'Landscapers' means people who design gardens; the correct noun for scenes is 'landscapes'. Use the plural 'landscapes' to match 'cityscapes'. Suggestion: verify word meanings and choose 'landscape(s)' for natural scenery.

× I prefer rivers and rural areas because the open landscapes and greenery feel more uh peaceful and refreshing, which helps me relax after a busy week in in the city.

✓ I prefer rivers and rural areas because the open landscapes and greenery feel more peaceful and refreshing, which helps me relax after a busy week in the city.

Remove the duplicated filler 'uh' and the repeated word 'in'. These are issues of word choice and fluency rather than strict grammar category, but they interfere with clarity. Suggestion: avoid filler words and double words when speaking or in writing.

× For example, St. Fielders Hills and Career Skins in UH inspires me to go for walks and take photographs.

✓ For example, St. Fielders Hills and Career Skins in UH inspire me to go for walks and take photographs.

Subject-verb agreement error: the compound subject 'St. Fielders Hills and Career Skins' is plural, so the verb should be 'inspire' not 'inspires'. Also check proper nouns for accuracy; if each place is a singular name, keep both and use plural verb. Suggestion: when two subjects are joined by 'and', use a plural verb.

× Imagine your preferred reviews in other country because they often are fair landscapes and cultural scandals that are very different from that what I see at home.

✓ I prefer views in other countries because they often have fair landscapes and different cultural features that are very different from what I see at home.

Multiple issues: 'Imagine your preferred reviews' is nonsensical in context; likely 'I prefer views' is intended. 'In other country' should be 'in other countries' (plural and preposition use). 'Cultural scandals' is wrong word choice; use 'cultural features' or 'cultural aspects'. The phrase 'different from that what I see' is ungrammatical; use 'different from what I see'. Suggestion: use clear subject 'I', correct pluralization for 'countries', choose appropriate nouns ('views', 'features'), and use the comparative structure 'different from what...'.

× For example, visiting coastals Cliff and Europe are offering rallies in Switzerland provides provided average course compared with the familiar countries near.

✓ For example, visiting coastal cliffs in Europe, such as those in Switzerland, provides a memorable experience compared with the more familiar nearby countries.

This sentence has many word-choice and structure errors: 'coastals Cliff' should be 'coastal cliffs'; 'Europe are offering rallies in Switzerland' is incoherent—likely intended 'in Europe, such as Switzerland'; 'provides provided average course' mixes tenses and words incorrectly; use present tense 'provides' and a clear noun like 'experience'. 'Familiar countries near' should be 'more familiar nearby countries'. Suggestion: simplify the sentence, choose correct compound nouns ('coastal cliffs'), keep consistent tense, and order phrases to make meaning clear.