Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct pronunciation and grammar errors. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition (e.g., "I can memor I can recall"). Use correct nouns (e.g., "scenery" instead of "fields") and plural forms consistently. Also correct tense/word choice: "it relaxes me" or "they help me relax" and "I can recall them later."

예시: Yes. I enjoy photographing different kinds of scenery when I travel. For example, I often take pictures of mountains and the sea because they relax me, and I can look back at the photos later to remember the trip.

제안: Make the main preference clearer and correct awkward phrasing. Use a linking phrase to add a specific reason and an example. Avoid future tense like "will develop cities" when you mean existing features. Replace vague phrases with precise reasons (e.g., "architectural variety", "city lights").

예시: I prefer urban views to rural ones because I enjoy the architectural variety and city skyline. For instance, I like photographing skyscrapers and busy streets in capital cities because they offer interesting shapes and lighting at night.

제안: Clarify and simplify your response. Begin with a direct statement of preference, then give one concise reason with a specific example. Avoid repetition ("as a result" twice) and incorrect words ("few in other countries" and "different words"). Use correct grammar (e.g., "I've lived here for 25 years").

예시: I prefer views in other countries because I've lived in my city for about 25 years and feel I know it well. For example, I enjoy visiting foreign towns to see unfamiliar architecture and landscapes that I can't find at home.

× Yes, when I go traveling I like to take pictures of different fields, especially mountains, seas, forest because it gets me relaxed and I can memor I can recall them after a time.

✓ Yes, when I go traveling I like to take pictures of different landscapes, especially mountains, seas, and forests, because it relaxes me and I can recall them later.

Errors: 'fields' is odd collocation; 'forest' should be plural 'forests' to match list; 'it gets me relaxed' is incorrect: use 'it relaxes me' (verb + object) or 'I feel relaxed'; 'I can memor I can recall' contains a typo and redundancy; 'after a time' is unnatural, use 'later'. Suggestion: use correct plural nouns to match 'different' and choose natural verbs (relaxes, recall) and avoid repetition and typos. Grammar types applied: 8 (Verb + -ing form) for 'traveling' is acceptable; primary fixes correspond to 10 (Verb in the present participle form) and 13 (Incorrect use of adjectives or adverbs) and 1 (Singular and plural issue).

× I prefer views in urban areas to rural areas because I like skyscrapers, tall buildings and will develop cities, especially like the capital of each country.

✓ I prefer views in urban areas to rural ones because I like skyscrapers and tall buildings, and developing cities, especially the capital of each country.

Errors: 'rural areas' repetition is stylistically heavy; use 'rural ones' to contrast. 'and will develop cities' is ungrammatical here: the student likely means 'developing cities' (noun phrase) or 'and cities that are developing'. Using 'will' (future) is incorrect because it does not fit context; change to present participle 'developing'. Also remove superfluous 'like' before 'the capital'. Suggestion: use parallel noun phrases and present participle to describe ongoing characteristic 'developing cities'. Grammar types applied: 16 (Incorrect conjunction use) and 7 (Future tense issue) and 1 (Singular and plural issue).

× In my opinion, few in other countries are more preferable for me because I have been getting tired of our city's view because as I live here, I have been living here for about 25 years.

✓ In my opinion, views in other countries are preferable to me because I have grown tired of my city's scenery, as I have lived here for about 25 years.

Errors: 'few in other countries are more preferable' is ungrammatical: 'views in other countries are preferable' expresses meaning. 'Preferable' should compare two things: use 'preferable to' or rephrase. 'I have been getting tired' is awkward; use present perfect 'I have grown tired' or 'I am tired of'. 'our city's view' is awkward; use 'my city's scenery'. 'because as I live here' is redundant; remove extra conjunction. Suggestion: use clear comparative structure and appropriate present perfect to indicate a continuing state. Grammar types applied: 6 (Present tense issue), 1 (Singular and plural issue), 12 (Incorrect use of pronouns), 26 (Sentence structure errors).

× So as a result, as a result, I have been trying to explore different words to discover different views.

✓ As a result, I have been trying to explore different places to discover new views.

Errors: Repetition 'So as a result, as a result' is redundant; keep one link phrase. 'Different words' is incorrect word choice; should be 'different places'. 'Different views' is repetitive after 'discover'; use 'new views' for variety. Suggestion: eliminate redundancy and choose correct noun 'places' and appropriate adjective 'new'. Grammar types applied: 26 (Sentence structure errors) and 13 (Incorrect use of adjectives or adverbs) and 11 (Incorrect use of prepositions).